Can I go back

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Re: Can I go back

Postby DonaldDuck » Wed Aug 17, 2016 5:07 am

And thank you to everyone who has posted so far. :D
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Aug 17, 2016 5:18 am

But there's no suffering and humiliation. I have a few drinks, but no one suffers, except maybe my Liver eventually.


There is a reason why you are here. Mental torture perhaps? Maybe not physical so far. Yeah keep trying. Eventually you may experience all the yets. I don't want you to, but just saying. This is the mental part of the disease the book talks about:

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

Many people are in this mode now. Its not going to happen to me. A woman in the other forum took 2 years for her to realize that she can't do it on her own. And there were some people who did it on their own (hard drinkers) they kept encouraging her. And we from AA kept telling her its not possible. I am glad that she finally realized on own. Hey if thats what you need, nobody is going to stop you from that.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Tosh » Wed Aug 17, 2016 5:19 am

avaneesh912 wrote: And we from AA kept telling her its not possible. I am glad that she finally realized on own. Hey if thats what you need, nobody is going to stop you from that.


The Great Reality is the best teacher I think.

I tried for about eight years to moderate my drinking, using stuff like getting married, golf, exercise or education to help me moderate. I thought if I had some responsibilities and hobbies, it would take my mind from drinking; I wouldn't be so restless and bored (which seemed to lead to excess drinking).

Eventually the wheels came off and I ended up seeing my doctor and having alcohol counselling; even then it took another two years of drinking to teach me that I can't moderate.

Suicide was constantly in my thoughts and that's when I ended up at my first A.A. meeting.

My point is, reality showed me what worked and what didn't.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Brock » Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:07 am

Must try harder!

That's fine try harder maybe you will succeed, but the point I hope you are getting is that 'trying' is usually not much fun, if you are thinking you would like to drink but resisting, that's not a nice way to live. Yes maybe it will just leave your mind and you will think about it no more, until the weekend comes around, if that happens then you will be OK.

Everyone starts out that way, I first went to AA because I drank after work every day, and heard people in the meeting saying they needed a drink by lunchtime, great I don't belong here I thought. Twenty years or so after, I was drinking by lunch every day so I went back to AA, I heard someone say they had to drink before lunch, yes I thought I'm not that bad I don't need this AA business. About ten years after that, which was seven years ago, I was put into an insane asylum against my will, the fellow who didn't need a drink in the morning had to use a clear plastic tube, (it still sits on my desk as a reminder), to suck rum from the bottle, because my hands trembled so much in the mornings I couldn't pour it out.

Now I had a story to beat all others, about a stupid man who didn't take the opportunity the first or even the second time he was offered it, and ended up back in AA, a walking skeleton with a zero bank account. I found something I never expected, when I did what they suggested the feeling to drink left completely, no more 'must try harder' for me. They showed me in chapter six of the book it says “the problem has been removed, it does not exist for us,” and it turned out to be absolutely true, they showed me another part which said I would live “happy joyful and free,” didn't believe it but that turned out true as well. Well not absolutely true, they shouldn't have said happy, they should have said happier than any other time in your life. If you don't need what AA offers that's fine, but if you ever do, keep in mind that it's not about struggling or missing drinking, it's about recovering and living a bloody good life, best of luck to you.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:32 am

I just drink almost every night, mainly on my way home from work.


Drinking a glass of wine or some drink is not an issue. There is something your internal clock is saying that what you are doing isn't right. The book talks about there is no turning an problem drinker into a normal drinker. We havent found a pill yet. Even after 70 odd years after the book was written. The statement still holds good.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Stepchild » Wed Aug 17, 2016 6:40 am

I like what the people that started this program figured out...

Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Though some of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings. Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were.
pgs 47-48

prej·u·dice
noun
preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience.

Unfortunately for myself....It took me a little longer to find that state of reasonableness than I would have preferred.....And a serious beating.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Aug 18, 2016 3:31 am

My point is, reality showed me what worked and what didn't.


Totally agree. A spiritual master talked about this. There are 2 ways people can learn/arrive at a conclusion/realize..... one is to walk through life experience and then realize it and the other is learn from others experience. And our book mainly the big book is intended to convey the experience of an alcoholic. All through the book the have pointers about the 'subtle insanity' that precedes the 1st drink. The moment the alcoholic sees that, he/she may realize that and then stage a recovery.

Even in working with others chapter the book talks about the mental twist using your own story to drive home this point. But for some reason the most in the rooms just share the consequences. Yes it is important but for me learning about this insanity helped. I was able to realize that left on my own resource I was on a slippery slope. And I was on the threshold of losing everything.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Lali » Fri Aug 19, 2016 8:39 am

DonaldDuck wrote:I just drink almost every night, mainly on my way home from work.


I'm curious Donald - why on your way home from work as opposed to waiting until you get home?
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Stepchild » Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:17 pm

Lali wrote:
DonaldDuck wrote:I just drink almost every night, mainly on my way home from work.


I'm curious Donald - why on your way home from work as opposed to waiting until you get home?


I was going to give him credit for not having a couple before leaving work.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby PuppyEars » Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:56 pm

Stepchild wrote:
Lali wrote:
DonaldDuck wrote:I just drink almost every night, mainly on my way home from work.


I'm curious Donald - why on your way home from work as opposed to waiting until you get home?


I was going to give him credit for not having a couple before leaving work.

How does one even keep a job while in active addiction?
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Lali » Fri Aug 19, 2016 7:27 pm

Stepchild wrote:
Lali wrote:
DonaldDuck wrote:I just drink almost every night, mainly on my way home from work.


I'm curious Donald - why on your way home from work as opposed to waiting until you get home?


Stepchild wrote:I was going to give him credit for not having a couple before leaving work.


That comes next - at least it did for me.

After that, it was during lunch. Then ultimately, before I left home for work. This is a progressive disease for sure. These are all things that I never in a million years would have believed I was capable of doing. What once was entirely unacceptable to me became a necessity.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Feeya » Fri Aug 19, 2016 10:11 pm

Try to go back. Give it a try and if you feel like you can't, and that you need help, come back.
We'll still be here and welcome you back without judgement.
One day at a time.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Tosh » Sat Aug 20, 2016 8:03 am

PuppyEars wrote:How does one even keep a job while in active addiction?


Normally because to fund the alcoholism, you need money.

But what you might (unknowingly?) be saying, is that you can't be an alcoholic if you have a job. Even Dr Bob had some of his practise left and he was a surgeon who operated on people's bottoms.

And Bill worked during periods of his alcoholism too.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby PuppyEars » Sat Aug 20, 2016 11:11 am

Tosh wrote:
PuppyEars wrote:How does one even keep a job while in active addiction?


Normally because to fund the alcoholism, you need money.

But what you might (unknowingly?) be saying, is that you can't be an alcoholic if you have a job. Even Dr Bob had some of his practise left and he was a surgeon who operated on people's bottoms.

And Bill worked during periods of his alcoholism too.

No need to put words in my mouth. Did you see me type that? I can't relate to bob keeping a job during drinking, big whoop. My experience is I would build up a bright outlook with a job then start stealing and before I knew it was getting fired. What part of MY experience do you not understand?
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Re: Can I go back

Postby PaigeB » Sat Aug 20, 2016 12:31 pm

I almost answered your question too Puppy ears...

I guess you were being asking it rhetorically. But I worked all throughout my active addiction.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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