Can I go back

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Re: Can I go back

Postby D'oh » Mon Aug 15, 2016 7:38 pm

Thats where the whole problem is. You think that problem is after we take that first drink. Actually most in fellowship think thats the problem. Which is just a minute problem. You are missing out on the spiritual malady part and the mental twist part of the disease.


I was talking of While we were active, not after the program.

What would start as "I am just going for a quick One, could turn into a 2week skid, Hand Cuffs, or just a quick one. There were more Promises broken than met. Usually more Remorse, fears, resentments and rejections than I was running from. But This Time it will be different!
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Aug 16, 2016 3:28 am

I was talking of While we were active, not after the program.

What would start as "I am just going for a quick One, could turn into a 2week skid, Hand Cuffs, or just a quick one. There were more Promises broken than met. Usually more Remorse, fears, resentments and rejections than I was running from. But This Time it will be different!


Active/In Recovery, the peculiar mental twist is something exist always thats because of the internal un-manageability. As an awakened being I stand a chance of not running into that blank spot. Thats why we need to watch for the un-manageability all the time. People go out because of this, they fail to enlarge their spiritual life. Mark H talks about it. The alcoholic gets out of the double door but if he doesn't do the deal, his ass could be kicked back into the abyss.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Brock » Tue Aug 16, 2016 3:48 am

What would start as "I am just going for a quick One…..

I believe what avaneesh has been getting at, and what I agree with, is that the object of the program is to get the person as quickly as possible, to react in a certain way when the thought above comes to their mind. Because that is the area in which we have no defense, and the area in which we require a spiritual solution, if we have the power to say no to that quick one, the problem is solved.

Chapter 2 -
These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body….

And by continuing on the spiritual journey we enlarge on the power to say no to that quick one, and we might just find that our life starts going so good, that the idea of a quick one never enters our mind. That's my experience once I stay in fit spiritual condition.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Tosh » Tue Aug 16, 2016 5:18 am

Brock wrote:
What would start as "I am just going for a quick One…..
and we might just find that our life starts going so good, that the idea of a quick one never enters our mind.


The REALLY confusing thing (in a good way) is that when life goes pear-shaped, you don't think about drinking either.

It means that when 'life events' happen (the bad stuff), we have a clear mind, we can act appropriately, and get on with the job of sorting it out (if it's something that can be sorted out).

Before A.A., when anything ever disturbed me (good or bad; I had to drink when I was euphoric too), I got this terrible thirst...

But now, the drinking problem has been removed; whatever seems to happen, as long as I keep doing the stuff that A.A. teaches, and really when all's said and done, A.A. just showed me how to be a better human being.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby DonaldDuck » Tue Aug 16, 2016 7:29 am

Ok, here’s where I’m at.

I didn’t have a drink last night. I’m at work today until 5pm, I then go home. My wife and children will be out, not returning until about 7pm.
2 hours on my own, mmm, what shall I do?

Grab a bottle of Wine on the way home from work, kick back and relax with a bit of music?

Seems like bliss to me. Put some tea in the oven for when the family arrive back.

Everything is fine.

But I want to kick this habit. I’m not an alcoholic, and don’t want to be. But it seems to be more mental than physical with me.
Surely if I go from 5-6 nights a week to 3-4 nights a week, that’s an improvement, right?

Or am I just trying to convince myself?
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Aug 16, 2016 7:44 am

Only time will tell. I am a member on another forum, I should say not related to AA. Same deal. People come in, post on it with vigor. Slowly slowly they fade. I am not trying to discourage you. Be honest and stay connected. We will help you if you need help.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Lali » Tue Aug 16, 2016 8:03 am

What if you tried to have none at all this week? Would you be restless, irritable and discontent? (I was). Would alcohol dominate your thoughts or would you be able to happily spend your time doing something else?

Nobody here will try to diagnose you as an alcoholic - you have to figure that out for yourself.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Tosh » Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:11 am

DonaldDuck wrote: But it seems to be more mental than physical with me.


It's a mental problem with alcoholics too. Once we've detoxed, we're still thinking about drinking, which usually leads to further drinking.

None of us will say if you're an alcoholic or not - as Lali pointed out (in A.A. we're left to work that one out for ourselves) - but I remember when I used to drink a bottle of wine a few times night during the week, with heavy drinking at the weekends. Then it went to drinking a bottle of wine every work night. And that progressed to a bottle of wine and four cans. Then it was two bottles of wine. Then it was two bottles of wine and four cans. Then I made sure the wine and the cans were all as high strength as I could get them. Then it was whisky...

My daily drinking habits progressed over the years.

And if you think you can't be an alcoholic because you think you 'only' drink a bottle of wine a night, you're wrong. Can you just have two glasses and put the cork back in the bottle? Can you leave it alone for an extended period of time and not be thinking about drinking on a 'too regular' basis? Does your restlessness, irritability and discontentment; your boredom; drive you back to the wine?

If so, welcome, brother! :lol:

If not, you're still welcome.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby D'oh » Tue Aug 16, 2016 9:25 am

I didn’t have a drink last night. I’m at work today until 5pm, I then go home. My wife and children will be out, not returning until about 7pm.
2 hours on my own, mmm, what shall I do?

Grab a bottle of Wine on the way home from work, kick back and relax with a bit of music?

Seems like bliss to me. Put some tea in the oven for when the family arrive back.

Everything is fine.

But I want to kick this habit. I’m not an alcoholic, and don’t want to be. But it seems to be more mental than physical with me.
Surely if I go from 5-6 nights a week to 3-4 nights a week, that’s an improvement, right?


I don't think Anyone here thinks that a Drink or 2 are a bad thing, For "Normal Drinkers"

If I could come home after work and have a couple, I definitely would do just that.

The thing is, for me anyways, Once I had 1 or 2, and things were calmed and good, I wouldn't know if I could stop there, or if in fact I would want to stop there. I would forget important Appointments, Work, Family, Funds, Laws, and so on.

So what ways kind of heavy, and I know Little of Normal Drinkers. Why all of this thought about When, Where, How Much, and Who will observe this? I would think that that would rarely cross the mind of one who has had No Troubles while drinking.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby DonaldDuck » Tue Aug 16, 2016 11:02 pm

Well, I've let myself down haven't I!

I shouldn't have succumbed, but I did. I feel terrible, not physically, but mentally, for not being stronger.

I feel guilty!

I won't have any tonight, and i'm going to try my best to go 2 nights without any alcohol. At least that would be an improvement.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby tyg » Wed Aug 17, 2016 1:33 am

Alcoholics Anonymous does a good job describing alcoholism beginning with chapter, "Doctors Opinion" to page 43. Can read the book online here: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/alcoholics-anonymous
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
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Re: Can I go back

Postby avaneesh912 » Wed Aug 17, 2016 3:18 am

I shouldn't have succumbed, but I did.


Yeah. Thats what the book calls it the peculiar mental twist. We buy into the bullshit that the mind comes up with.

Read this paragraph and look at your past and see if its true for you:

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.



Were you able to bring into your consciousness the suffering and humiliation of even a week or month ago? In your case you made up your mind just a day ago not to drink? But desire to drink over powered your resolution and you never thought of the consequences.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Can I go back

Postby D'oh » Wed Aug 17, 2016 4:10 am

May I add, Even if you could bring it into your consciousness, you have concocted and worked it to a point that "This time it will be different?"

"More about Alcoholism" holds a very detailed explanation of our predicament. Take sometime and read it.
Few that this Book will appeal to


file:///C:/Users/Stuart's/AppData/Local/Microsoft/Windows/INetCache/IE/52CJE715/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf
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Re: Can I go back

Postby Spirit Flower » Wed Aug 17, 2016 4:55 am

"Lack of power, that was our dilemma"

I am in AA because I couldn't will power my way out of drinking. I NEEDED a Power Greater than myself. Finding that power is what our book is about.
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Re: Can I go back

Postby DonaldDuck » Wed Aug 17, 2016 5:05 am

avaneesh912 wrote:Were you able to bring into your consciousness the suffering and humiliation of even a week or month ago? In your case you made up your mind just a day ago not to drink? But desire to drink over powered your resolution and you never thought of the consequences.


But there's no suffering and humiliation. I have a few drinks, but no one suffers, except maybe my Liver eventually.

I don't get paralytic and end up on Skid Row. I don't go on benders. I just drink almost every night, mainly on my way home from work.

I'm not making up excuses, and I do want to cut down. Not stop completely, just drink at the weekends and not in the week, just like I used to.

Must try harder!
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