hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

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hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

Postby shadower4 » Tue Jul 19, 2016 8:11 am

started when gf broke up with me almost 3 years ago, sumer just hit and i had nothing, no one so i drank all the time... and htisi s when it started to become an addiction, downing half a handle of vodka a night and then everclear 190 proof..... threw up every night multiple times, a lot of times passing out, i did so many things i regret, horrible things said and done, i .. it haunts me, it's hard to let it go, i'm finishing up college in 2 weeks, my degree feels useless, i started working 2 jobs and my boss commented the other day on if i drank last night, i'm drinking now on my only day off of the week, i feel miserable being a fry cook in a deli, for 10 hours a day just so most of it goes to car payments to get to the fcken job, i'm fed up. i want to die and have wanted to die for like the past 10 years, i wont kill myself so dont report this or anything i just refuse to end myself cause my family would never recover. so suicide is out of the question, i tried anti depressants, went through bad withdraw from alcohol a ot of times, i have nerve damage from it, if i try to lay down sober i itch like crazy, my immune system shut down from alcohol, i grew stretch marks everywhere overnight. i dont know what to do though if i dont drink, be miserable AT WORK, GO HOME, lay in bed and try to sleep? i know i ranted in my experience noisq mu one cares to take the time to read this much I hope u guys do, i'm crying right now, idk what to do and i have to be up for work at 6 tomorrow , i'm 23
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Re: hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

Postby PaigeB » Tue Jul 19, 2016 9:40 am

I thought much the same thing myself, but in the end, that didn't matter either. So I went to an AA meeting and they talked about how being sober actually opened up a new & different life, a fulfilling life of purpose and usefulness. I found the same thing for myself and it did not take very long at all!

Give it a try. Try it for 60 days in AA. If you decide you don't like it, we have a Misery Back Guarantee. :wink:
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

Postby Feeya » Tue Jul 19, 2016 1:32 pm

Hi shadower...
Go to a face to face meeting..
You don't have to say a word if you don't want to, you can just go and listen... I am sure you will hear your story over and over again!
And like Paige said, give it 60 days and just go day by day... Just see what happens!
Good luck!
One day at a time.
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Re: hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

Postby whipping post » Tue Jul 19, 2016 2:21 pm

Hi shadow,

You don't have to feel this way. I was in the same boat 2 years ago. Hopeless, didn't care if I lived or died. Just sick of life and sick of drinking. Through visiting here and going to AA meetings I found some hope. I found others who were happy, productive, and sober! It was suggested I work the steps and that I would lose my obsession with alcohol and it worked. Life is so much different today and yours can be to if you just take action.

Stick around and try to get to a face to face meeting. Also, be careful with those withdrawals. As you have seen they aren't something to play with. A medical detox might be worth looking into.
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Re: hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

Postby Noels » Tue Jul 19, 2016 2:33 pm

Hi Shadow :D so glad you posted. Very good advice above and since I stopped drinking almost 11 months ago I haven't had one moment that I wanted to die or even though about suicide. That's alcohol - cunning, baffling and powerful. It makes us feel and see things that doesn't exist.
You're graduating soon and you're 23. Wow. Your whole life is still ahead of you with so many possibilities and opportunities.
Please go to a meeting and just sit, relax and listen.
The answer will come to you.
Love and light
Noels xxx
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Re: hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

Postby 4thDimension » Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:33 pm

Shadower,

It's never to early to get sober and have a good life.

First thing to do is put the plug in the jug. Try not to drink for a day, or an hour at a time. Then, at the same time, get out to some meetings. Listen and see if you can relate. You'll find hope there, and people who've been where you are.

I was in your shoes 35 years ago. Same kind of crap going on. Felt like I was on fire all the time, living in hell. Doesn't have to be like that. In 1985, the light bulb came on for me - I knew I couldn't drink anymore, but I knew I would drink again. What to do? 12 steps, the AA fellowship, and things got better. It will work for you too - if you work it.

Hang in there.
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Re: hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

Postby PuppyEars » Wed Jul 20, 2016 2:31 am

shadower4 wrote:i dont know what to do though if i dont drink

This used to handicap me too. But it's kind of funny because I could do this:

i dont know what to do though if i dont smoke
i dont know what to do though if i dont play that online game
i dont know what to do though if i dont work 80 hours a week
i dont know what to do though if i dont have her/him by my side ....add anything

But that is hindsight speaking. I wish you all the best.
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Re: hey, i have a big issue with alcohol

Postby TBML » Thu Jul 28, 2016 11:44 am

I'm with the others, go to an AA mtg. If you don't like what you hear or how it's said at the first one, try another one. Almost every single person in that room felt like you do now.

I wanted to quit long before I ever went to my first AA meeting, but I stopped drinking and began the road to recovery after my very first one.
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