Trust your guts?

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Trust your guts?

Postby Feeya » Tue May 31, 2016 10:01 pm

Hi everyone, my name is Feeya, I'm an alcoholic and an addict.
So, at the meeting I went to yesterday was a woman who offered to sponsor me.
She gave me her number and told me to call her and offered to meet me on Friday...
Now, she was nice and all.... but my instincts are telling me to not do it and to find a different sponsor.
But how can I trust my instincts if I'm only six days sober?
I have a tendency of talking myself out of things and I don't know if this is legit or if I'm just bullsh*tting myself in order to not have to work the steps or whatever...
Any experience or advice would be great!

Good 24 hours!
One day at a time.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby PaigeB » Wed Jun 01, 2016 12:32 am

I would make the call and go to the meet up with her on Friday - you can decide after you meet up. I doubt she's a serial killer. Meet in a public place if you have that kind of feeling. I found out that I that I needed in a sponsor was someone who worked the Steps and was willing to go through the book with me.

How?
Honest
Openminded
Willing

Good for you on taking another Step toward Freedom.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby tyg » Wed Jun 01, 2016 2:27 am

Often I've had to Kill the brain, and just move my feet. When I was new I found it common for me trying to convince myself why not to do these things that would make me well. It seemed my mind made up many excuses to procrastinate on the Steps and other things suggested to me. I prayed often to the universe for wisdom & guidance and courage to keep moving forward, . It always came. The more I met with my sponsor and reached out to them by meeting up, calling & talking often...the more I knew they were okay and I should continue to work with them. The more time you take interacting with them the sooner you will know.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Larryp713 » Wed Jun 01, 2016 5:55 am

Thanks for the topic, Feeya. I would recommend calling her and talking with her, if for no other reason than working with another alcoholic helps keep us sober. You will actually be helping her recovery as well. I trust my instincts, and would recommend you do the same. But I have also found that being open-minded and patient has changed my perception. So this person might not seem like a suitable sponsor now, but after speaking with her you might get impressed that she could help you, or another person might be identified who is more suitable. Its amazing how that works if we stay engaged.

One of the miracles of this program for me is that I found out God talks to me through others about 70% of the time. 30% of the time is an inspired thought or connection in my head, but most often, it is through another person that I hear God's voice. If I cut myself off from others, I am missing most of what God has to say to me. I wish you well!!! Larry
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Feeya » Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:21 am

Thank you all very much for your guidance!
It is not that I think she is a serial killer, I just did not really like her... I found her weird but at the same time I am almost certain that is just me being an idiot.
It is good to know I am not the only person who tries to talk myself out of things... typical procrastinator I guess... but being aware of doing that just makes me feel more like an idiot.
It makes me feel like my brain is working on its own... maybe that is just part of getting sober...
I will meet her on Friday and just see how things go... I talked to someone else who was at the meeting who said that she has done great work with other Newcomers and that she is really experienced... I guess I'll see...
One day at a time.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Noels » Wed Jun 01, 2016 8:20 am

Hi Feeya :D so happy youre here and congrats on your 6 days !
Because my mind was ill and I couldn't trust it for as long as a remember I always trusted my gut. Ive always allowed for the opportunity to prove my gut wrong though so I agree that you should meet with the lady and maybe just chat and get to know each other without any commitment to sponsorship and see what happens. If after this meeting your gut still doesn't feel right then believe it and act accordingly. Unfortunately my gut feeling have proven to be right time after time so these days I don't even question it. I do, however, still leave room for it to be proved wrong.

Well done and keep doing what youre doing. Six days is a great achievement in an alcoholic's life and it just gets better :D

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Noels xxx
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Patsy© » Wed Jun 01, 2016 8:38 am

Feeya wrote:Hi everyone, my name is Feeya, I'm an alcoholic and an addict.
So, at the meeting I went to yesterday was a woman who offered to sponsor me.
She gave me her number and told me to call her and offered to meet me on Friday...
Now, she was nice and all.... but my instincts are telling me to not do it and to find a different sponsor.
But how can I trust my instincts if I'm only six days sober?
I have a tendency of talking myself out of things and I don't know if this is legit or if I'm just bullsh*tting myself in order to not have to work the steps or whatever...
Any experience or advice would be great!

Good 24 hours!


Hi Feeya, Congrats on 6 days, Way To Go!

When I was 6 days sober I had the mind of an Untreated Alcoholic, I had a mind that would lie to me and a gut that would back up that lie. I had no clue what was the next right to do or not to do. How could I? I just came from spending years in DENIAL = Don't Even Notice I Am Lying

I would suggest that you call this woman and have a coffee with her, meet with her more than a few times. Ask her if she has an AA Home Group and how many AA meetings she attends a week and if she has a Sponsor of her own and has she been through the 12 Steps with that Sponsor? If she is smiling, reaching out to help you and other newcomers, attends AA meetings regularly and can answer yes that she has a sponsor and has been through the 12 steps with her own sponsor..... then I would suggest that regardless of what your gut says.... you are in Good Hands. :D
Failed 12 Step Call? Not if we walk away sober!
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Spirit Flower » Wed Jun 01, 2016 9:29 am

Is there another person in the meetings you do feel comfortable with who you could find out if this woman is a good sponsor?

Our guts can be very accurate; it is the mind that lies.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Feeya » Wed Jun 01, 2016 10:27 am

Thank you all!
The ladies homegroup is the same meeting that I want to attend regularly and the people there said that she is great!
I will find out if she has a sponsor herself and if she has worked the steps, even though I am certain she has, she is a known sponsor and she has been sober for 14 years...
I will meet her and ask her about it and just chat and get to know her a little bit...

I think I am just freaking out a little bit...
Every day something new happens and everything is so confusing and I realise more and more that I can't trust myself and I do really want to have a sponsor, because I do feel like I need that guidance and someone to help me figure this out, but at the same time I really don't want to have to ask around to find one...
It gives me so much anxiety...
I shared that at a meeting though and everyone reassured me that it is normal to be scared and kind of 'lost' in all of this at first.

Regarding other people at that meeting, yes, there are a few people I feel comfortable around and would like to be sponsored by and I guess if that meeting on Friday doesn't work out I will have to start asking around...
One day at a time.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby clouds » Wed Jun 01, 2016 11:13 am

I had one sponsor for the first couple of months and that wasn't working. I got another one and she guided me through the steps and gave me a good foundation of the steps. So its perfectly ok if this first woman doesn't happen to be the right one, there will be others who could carry the message of the steps and give you the basis to begin them.

The more people you meet in early days the better it will be for you, so def. get together with her and go to a meeting with her. Getting to plenty of meetings you can be on the lookout for those people you feel comfortable with and who you see have the kind of sobriety you would like to have.

Congrats on 6 days and finding the meetings!
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Lali » Fri Jun 03, 2016 1:42 pm

Feeya wrote:I talked to someone else who was at the meeting who said that she has done great work with other Newcomers and that she is really experienced... I guess I'll see...


That certainly sounds promising!!
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Feeya » Fri Jun 03, 2016 1:44 pm

Hi my name is Feeya, I am an alcoholic and a drug addict.
I just got back from meeting the lady and she turns out to be really nice... I think what put me off at first was the fact that she told me she was able to relate (me being new, me being scared etc). I am not really used to interacting with people that 'get it' and I think I was just put off because I always kind of feel like 'I am unique, my struggle is worse than anyone elses'...
How ever, after sitting down and talking to her and actually being able to relate to her I feel like she would be exactly what I need, in order to get this right..

She talked to me about her 12 step work a little bit and how it changed her perception about the world and herself...
She told me that she wants me to call her on Sunday, wich I am already freaking out about because I don't want to bug her, but she also said that I am the one that needs to work through this and that she is going to guide me along, but she won't do the work for me...
So I am the one that has to make the call...
She also gave me book to read, so I will do that...
I am really glad things worked out today, really relieved that my first impression of her was wrong and I am glad that I found someone I can turn to!

I feel grateful.
One day at a time.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Spirit Flower » Fri Jun 03, 2016 2:23 pm

Get used to calling her now so when you are having a bad day, you'll call her and talk it out.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby Feeya » Sun Jun 05, 2016 5:11 am

Spirit Flower wrote:Get used to calling her now so when you are having a bad day, you'll call her and talk it out.


I called her today, I am having a really bad day anyway, so I talked it out and at the same time kind of realised that it is not as embarrassing and 'weird' to call her as I thought it would be.
She was really kind and inmidiatly gave me instructions and advice on how to make it through the day!
One day at a time.
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Re: Trust your guts?

Postby ann2 » Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:09 am

Wow, what a great thread. Thank Feeya for sharing and thanks everyone for your input! Love the development :)

Ann
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