First meeting. What about my parents?

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Re: First meeting. What about my parents?

Postby Deskdad » Thu May 26, 2016 9:33 am

Go go go! The change they see in you, at the very least, will get their attention. It is good to think of them, but don't let that hold you up.
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"When I came to recovery, I realized that being a child for 43 years nearly killed me."
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Re: First meeting. What about my parents?

Postby Patsy© » Sat May 28, 2016 5:49 pm

Feeya wrote:Hey everyone!
I'm Feeya and I went to my first AA meeting today. It was absolutely terrifying and it left me feeling absolutely relieved in a weird way.
While I was sitting there I thought about my parents, who I still live with and I was just wondering if anyone here has any kind of experience with parents at Al-Anon? Should I ask them to go? And how do I start a conversation like that?
I mean, they obviously know what's going on, but they don't 'believe' in recovery! Should I even bother getting them into meetings, or should I just focus on myself?
I'm just curious as to how much of an impact my parents view on recovery will have on my recovery, once I stop drinking and doing drugs.


Congratulations Feeya on attending your first AA meeting. I would strongly suggest to take the focus off your parents and what they do or don't do and put the focus on you and your own recovery. You can not get your parents to Al-anon, you are simply not that powerful. And if your parents do not believe in Recovery, then the only one who has to believe and know that you are IN Recovery is YOU.

Trying to have a conversation about your own Recovery, with anyone who doesn't believe in Recovery......could be setting yourself up for that first drink!

Again, Congratulations....don't drink and keep coming....no matter what :)
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Re: First meeting. What about my parents?

Postby Feeya » Sun May 29, 2016 12:21 am

Patsy© wrote:
You can not get your parents to Al-anon, you are simply not that powerful. And if your parents do not believe in Recovery, then the only one who has to believe and know that you are IN Recovery is YOU.

Trying to have a conversation about your own Recovery, with anyone who doesn't believe in Recovery......could be setting yourself up for that first drink!

Again, Congratulations....don't drink and keep coming....no matter what :)


Hi, thank you very much! That seems to be the case here, I did not even mention recovery to them, just said: 'I don't want to drink anymore' and my Dad acted like I had just attacked him.
Wich I didn't. But I guess he felt like now that I don't drink anymore I was expecting him to stop too. Wich maybe I did (even though I did not say that) but his reaction and what others have told me, made me realise that this is about me and not about anyone else. So I'll let it go. I'll just focus on my sobriety and see where this is taking me.
One day at a time.
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Re: First meeting. What about my parents?

Postby Patsy© » Sun May 29, 2016 3:48 am

Fabulous Feeya, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward! Remember, you never have to be alone again, unless you choose to, there are many new friends in AA just waiting for you. Please, attend as many AA meetings as you can and join the AA group nearest to where you live. That way, you can always make the AA meeting no matter what the weather. Get a Big Book and read it, sit up front and listen, Identify and do not compare. Get a meeting list book, a phone list and use them, call those AA members on a daily basis, that way you will feel comfortable picking up the phone and asking for help. Look around the meetings and find someone who is smiling, reaching out to newcomers, attends a lot of AA meetings, has a sponsor of their own and has been through the 12 steps with that sponsor.........then ask that person to sponsor You through the 12 steps :)

Have a wonderful day Feeya and you are on the journey of a lifetime.....Enjoy!
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Re: First meeting. What about my parents?

Postby Feeya » Sun May 29, 2016 4:06 am

Thank you, that makes me feel better...!
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Re: First meeting. What about my parents?

Postby Patsy© » Sun May 29, 2016 5:08 am

Feeya wrote:Thank you, that makes me feel better...!


(((((Feeya)))))) Ditto! :)
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