Scared of admitting to others...

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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Fri May 27, 2016 2:05 pm

Hi everyone, my name is Feeya, I'm an alcohol and drug addict. I slipped last night, but started the day with praying, wich is something I have never done before, ever!
I attended a meeting tonight and I am going to bed being, again, 24 hours sober.

At the meeting I went to this old guy said: Instead of trying to drink moderately I try to not drink at all, because as far as I am concerned that works way better.

And then he laughed... and everytime I see someone in the sober community laugh I feel like I will be fine, if I just work the program.
One day at a time.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Fri May 27, 2016 2:07 pm

Spirit Flower wrote:Coming from a lonely alcoholism, meetings were an improvement on my life.


That is how I want to approach meetings too, as an improvement and a better option then sitting home alone.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Brock » Fri May 27, 2016 2:53 pm

And then he laughed... and everytime I see someone in the sober community laugh I feel like I will be fine, if I just work the program.

Yes in my area we also often have a good amount of laughter at meetings, they speak about this in our big book -
 So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we bust into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Fri May 27, 2016 3:00 pm

It does seem shocking at first... like 'how can you laugh about stuff like that?'
But to me it also looks like the people that are able to laugh about their past are no longer ashamed...
It is great to see people in that position and it sure makes it easier for me to speak up and share... it takes the pressure off, at least a little bit!
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Tosh » Sat May 28, 2016 10:07 am

Feeya wrote:And then he laughed... and everytime I see someone in the sober community laugh I feel like I will be fine, if I just work the program.


Me too. In fact we can get into a position where drinking doesn't even come up on the radar as a problem; it's not something we even think about, honestly. And then we go sorting out other areas of our life, like our education, health, fitness, diet, finances; finding out about ourselves, what we enjoy doing; it's just magic.

It's all on-going personal (spiritual) development.

But it is a program of action and for me; it's not about going to meetings (though I go to meetings); it's what happens outside of meetings that's really important. I found having a sponsor extremely useful; have you seen any sponsor material at your meetings?
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Sat May 28, 2016 10:25 am

Yes I do realise that it is not 'just' going to meetings, even though I feel that, at the moment, that is the only thing that gets me out of bed and makes me leave the house... Its also the only real social interaction I have, except for my parents, because I can't hang out with friends anymore...


There is one meeting I go to where most people actually have 20+ years of recovery, I just don't really know how to bring it up with someone.
Because no one has brought up the topic of 'sponsoring' and working the steps... even though everyone has obviously worked them... but they just keep telling me to sit there and listen and to take it slow (I tend to plan way to much ahead and then get frustrated when my plans don't work out).
So 'Sponsor material' is definitely there, I just don't know...

Feeya, Alcohol and Drug addict
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby PaigeB » Sat May 28, 2016 11:05 am

Around here, during the announcements, most meetings ask people are willing to sponsor to raise their hands. If they don't bring up sponsorship where you are just say it during your share: Hi. I am Feeya and I am looking for a sponsor to take me through the Steps.

Keep it simple. Be open-minded & willing. Take action. :mrgreen: :arrow: :arrow:
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Sat May 28, 2016 11:55 am

Okay... They don't seem to be asking that at the meetings I go to and I am constantly scared of annoying or bothering people by being 'the new one'... but then again, that's just me overthinking things... I will bring it up during my next share!
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Lali » Sat May 28, 2016 6:42 pm

PaigeB wrote: just say it during your share: Hi. I am Feeya and I am looking for a sponsor to take me through the Steps.


Great idea! I have seen this work well for people!
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby shaunagus » Thu Jun 02, 2016 3:06 am

I know what you mean about the laughter. It's so imprortant to me. There are meetings just about every day near me as long as I'm happy to drive 20 miles or so and I tried them all in my first few months in AA. The ones I settled on as regular meetings are the ones where there was laughter every week, just about. I'm so grateful that my two most regular meetings are ones where love and laughter are front and centre in the meeting. Both just seem to bubble up inside me when I go to them. And I'm very grateful for that. I can't be doing with meetings that are sombre and serious week in, week out.

I'm in another 12 step fellowship for another addiction and those meetings are quiet, serious, everyone talks very seriously and quietly looking at the table in front of them, barely making eye contact. So I hardly ever go. I just can't bare it.

On the sponsorship front, hopefully there are people in the meetings who mention during their share that they themselves had a sponsor who took them through the steps - you can be pretty sure that they are the ones who won't mind sponsoring you. In fact, they will probably be glad to. That's what I looked for. And someone who laughed and made jokes. Those criteria (had a sponsor, worked the steps, seemed happy, smiled and laughed) set me up well.


Shaun
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Lali » Fri Jun 03, 2016 1:38 pm

shaunagus wrote:I can't be doing with meetings that are sombre and serious week in, week out.


So, I take it you go to the meetings Tosh attends!
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Noels » Fri Jun 03, 2016 1:52 pm

Lali wrote:
shaunagus wrote:I can't be doing with meetings that are sombre and serious week in, week out.


So, I take it you go to the meetings Tosh attends!


:lol: :lol: I looove Toshs shares even if he's indeed got no front teeth, skinny hairy legs and long /no hair (can't remember which one it was ) as per his post somewhere else :lol: and No, Mrs Tosh need not hunt me down :lol: I'm happy and married - 21.5 years already :D
Good one Lali :lol:
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby shaunagus » Sun Jun 05, 2016 7:23 am

Lali wrote:
shaunagus wrote:I can't be doing with meetings that are sombre and serious week in, week out.


So, I take it you go to the meetings Tosh attends!



I do as it happens :-)
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