Scared of admitting to others...

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Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Sun May 22, 2016 4:51 am

Hi everyone...
So, I'm new to all of this... and I was wondering how to approach going to a meeting...
Do I just go there? Do I have to call somewhere first? What do I do?
I know this probably sounds redicoulus and weird but I am soooo scared of going to a meeting and admitting that I have a problem... I am scared that people there might think I am weird or different... I don't know...
I've been told to not think about it and just go, but it seems like the scariest thing in the world...

Feeya
One day at a time.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Brock » Sun May 22, 2016 5:47 am

Yes it does seem scary we have all been there. As some were saying on the other thread, you can just go along on your own to one nearest you. Some people phone for assistance and usually someone can come and give you a lift, but I believe it's much better to just go. Some of us are promising certain things here, I believe we can because we have seen it happen so many times, and one promise I can make, is that everyone leaves their first meeting wondering why they were scared in the first place.

You don't have to say anything, it's nice if you can just say your first name, everyone usually understands that new people are nervous at first. You just sit and listen, drink a coffee, near the end a 'hat' is passed and everyone who can afford it puts a dollar or so towards the meeting expenses. They may give you some leaflets and maybe a list of members phone numbers you can call if you need more assistance, they really should be no pressure from anyone to come to another meeting or anything like that, it's just a group of normal folks from all walks of life.

Going to a few different meetings is very good to find which one you like best, where you feel most comfortable, it's recommended you can call this your home group if you choose. Please believe there is nothing to fear and a lot to gain, and I wish you the very best for your first meeting.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby clouds » Sun May 22, 2016 7:06 am

Welcome Feeya

I phoned the AA office in the city I lived in and they kindly had a woman AA member call me back and she arranged with me to give me a drive to my first AA meeting. I've been going back to AA ever since because they had a solution to my problem with alcohol, I was at the point where I couldn't stop drinking on my own.

I support you to give it a try. :)
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby 4thDimension » Sun May 22, 2016 7:57 pm

Hi Feeya,

Welcome.

You can certainly "pass" at a meeting, you don't have to say anything.

The chairperson will usually ask if there is anyone new at the beginning of the meeting, and all you do is raise your hand and say your first name. You don't have to say you're an alcoholic or anything else.

Best wishes!
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Mon May 23, 2016 6:35 am

Hi everyone...
Thank you for the encouragement!
I got in touch with someone today who offered to take me to my first meeting, just so I don't have to go on my own. That will be happening on Friday and I'm already freaking out...
The thought about not having to talk too much and not having to say that I'm an alcoholic really helps though... wich is probably really stupid, since that is the reason I am going to a meeting, but... I don't know, that is what scares me the most... having to admit that to others...
I'm always in awe of how easy it seems when other people just say that they are.
One day at a time.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Larryp713 » Mon May 23, 2016 6:44 am

Welcome Feeya! It is as simple as showing up, and of course its uncomfortable. It is perfectly normal to be scared going in to such an unknown situation. But try to hold to a couple facts - everybody there knows what it is like to walk through the first time, and just about everybody there is convinced they have a problem with alcohol. With that in mind, you're not going to be judged. AA groups are happy to see newcomers, especially those that want to get well. They told me I was the most important person there at my first meeting. I thought that was condescending, but today I know its true. Nothing guarantees my sobriety more than sharing my experience, strength, and hope with a newcomer.
The hardest part of the program is that first walk through the door. Just go a little early and know that miracles happen there. Best of luck. Larry
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Tosh » Mon May 23, 2016 6:59 am

Feeya wrote:The thought about not having to talk too much and not having to say that I'm an alcoholic really helps though... wich is probably really stupid, since that is the reason I am going to a meeting, but... I don't know, that is what scares me the most... having to admit that to others...
I'm always in awe of how easy it seems when other people just say that they are.


I think I've said "Hello, my name's Tosh and I'm an alcoholic" so many times that the novelty has just worn off, but the first time I said it at a meeting I remember feeling a sense of relief; it was quite a powerful moment for me.

Now I have no problems telling anyone I'm a sober alcoholic in A.A.. I met an elderly woman while walking my dog the other day and we had a really nice chat. During our walk I told this stranger that I was a member of A.A., a recovered alcoholic, and why not? I love A.A., of course I'm going to tell people about it; it's changed my life.

And funnily enough this elderly lady started telling me about her problems she had dealing with her anxiety in day-to-day life.

We just had a nice chat together, no bullshit, no talking about mortgages or money, just an honest connecting chat.

Anyway, bugger everyone else; I'm happy being an alkie in A.A., if they don't like it, they can shove it where the sun doesn't shine. :lol:
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby positrac » Tue May 24, 2016 3:48 am

Feeya wrote:Hi everyone...
So, I'm new to all of this... and I was wondering how to approach going to a meeting...
Do I just go there? Do I have to call somewhere first? What do I do?
I know this probably sounds redicoulus and weird but I am soooo scared of going to a meeting and admitting that I have a problem... I am scared that people there might think I am weird or different... I don't know...
I've been told to not think about it and just go, but it seems like the scariest thing in the world...

Feeya

It is scary at first and it takes tikes time. When you were drinking and doing your thing did it ever scare you what you had been doing enough to stop? So in life we do a lot of firsts in order to go to a new levels. With regards to outsiders and admitting to others I'd recommend getting some serious time under your belt like 90 days of consecutive sobriety with active meeting participation. See people will notice changes in your personality and how you look and carry yourself and so admitting is not exactly necessary for now.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Tue May 24, 2016 6:47 am

It is scary at first and it takes tikes time. When you were drinking and doing your thing did it ever scare you what you had been doing enough to stop? So in life we do a lot of firsts in order to go to a new levels

Yes! And I did ectually attend my first meeting last night and it left me feeling really good... and then today it feels like I am exactly back to where I was yesterday before going there...
Getting some serious time of recovery under my belt would be great... that is what I am here for... and I do understand that it takes time and work and effort...
One day at a time.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby positrac » Tue May 24, 2016 8:27 am

Feeya wrote:It is scary at first and it takes tikes time. When you were drinking and doing your thing did it ever scare you what you had been doing enough to stop? So in life we do a lot of firsts in order to go to a new levels

Yes! And I did ectually attend my first meeting last night and it left me feeling really good... and then today it feels like I am exactly back to where I was yesterday before going there...
Getting some serious time of recovery under my belt would be great... that is what I am here for... and I do understand that it takes time and work and effort...

keep up the good work.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Thu May 26, 2016 5:26 am

Hi everyone, I'm Feeya, I'm an alcohol and drug addict and I am 64 hours sober right now.
Thank you for encouraging me to go to that first meeting, you gave me a lot of strength and promise for my future...
I know there is a long way ahead, but for the first time I see light at the end of the tunnel...
Yesterday and today I was too sick to attend a meeting but I am already looking forward to getting back there!

I wish all of you a good 24 hours!
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu May 26, 2016 5:32 am

but for the first time I see light at the end of the tunnel...


Yep, thats how I felt about 9 years and 7 months ago when I had Chris Rs talk. Gave me hope, I could see if I work the 12 steps the best of my ability, I can stay stopped. He always has this phrase at the bottom of each communication. "Stay connected". I know what he means now.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Feeya » Thu May 26, 2016 5:37 am

I think I listened to his speech online, actually!
"Stay connected" yeah...
At the two meetings I went to they told me to 'just keep coming back', to wich, after the first time I thought: 'Well yeah, whatever...'
And after the second meeting I thought: 'I might actually do that...'
It is a weird feeling... but a good one!
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Larryp713 » Thu May 26, 2016 7:02 am

Congrats on your start, Feeya. It is very weird how our attitudes and perceptions of meetings change. I used to hate AA meetings and would find any reason not to go, but once I really started working the program and trying to be a part of, my attitude has done a 180 degree turn. Today, I actually haggle with my wife so I can go to more meetings and 12 step calls. I would have thought you insane if you would have told me that would be the case 17 months ago. I am truly blessed today. Keep coming back!!! Larry
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Re: Scared of admitting to others...

Postby Spirit Flower » Thu May 26, 2016 11:05 am

Coming from a lonely alcoholism, meetings were an improvement on my life.
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