Urgent advice needed

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Urgent advice needed

Postby garyand claire » Sun May 01, 2016 4:52 am

Hello all. We are looking for advice. My partner has contacted local services hoping to get a community detox or rehab but we have been told she must reduce daily units from nearly 40 down to 27 to 30......before they will consider it.
She is so desperate to stop, in tears daily, has given me control of bank accounts ect and on the advice of hospital doctors, i measure drinks over a 24hr period in an attempt to slowly reduce.
PROBLEM IS......... Currant intake is a 70cl bottle of vodka. This is JUST ABOUT lasting 24 hours. She will wake SHAKING and need one or two just to SLOW the treamberling.
Then she is taking anti sickness vitamins and i purchased FOOD DRINKS (fori-juice) as she is unable to eat without being sick.
The trouble is.......the shakes are returning morning noon and night, and the few drinks required to slow them, is consistently adding up to a full 70cl bottle....Therefore the chance of REDUCING even one unit a day....is not happening.
We are becoming desperate, and considering buying LIBRIUM on line......I know this may sound crazy, but this 24 hour daily routine, is becoming literally unbearable for her and for me.
IF i had £3,000 There is no daubt wed go straight to private rehab, but we just dont have the money.
PLEASE can anybody tell us.......where are we going wrong here......and What can we do.
Thanks in advance
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby Brock » Sun May 01, 2016 6:08 am

This is a difficult situation you are facing, and one which the members here may be limited in what they can say, in the fellowship of AA we are instructed to not act like doctors, so we tread carefully.

Not all may have been through what she is but I am one who has done so many times, I would suffer for a few days before the shakes stopped, and as you say the appetite for food was gone during that time. Sweet drinks like coke helped a bit because I could keep those down, generally sweet things chocolate and such are said to reduce the craving. But I always had the benefit of tranquilizers to assist, and every four to five hours would use Valium, three days later the shakes are gone and so is the Valium.

Of course the doctors have prescribed that amount of drink for her to safely reduce to, since stopping dead can actually lead to being dead. I would consider visiting her NHS doctor and explaining the situation, maybe they will see the need for the tranquilizers, or other powerful sleep aid, getting a full nights sleep can help a lot but is very difficult for someone in her position.

Sorry I can't be of much help, but if I were you and all else fails I would buy the online tranquilizer, and I won't tell you much about AA, except that when she can attend meetings it is a friendly place, and following a simple program allows us to live a life with no thought of drinking, a very good life. Best of luck to you both.
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby garyand claire » Sun May 01, 2016 6:18 am

Thanks for your reply. She has been to meetings before and wants to go as soon as she can, but she really wants to stop this shaking first.
Like i say she has been to meetings before but never has it got this bad before, in her words she is on her knees, and i totally understand and believe her this time. Never before have i seen the desperation in her and its killing me to see it.
Will try doc again but they send us to the local addiction services and they are the ones who told us she must reduce, but as each 24 hours passes were finding were not getting anywhere fast. Im worried about buying online as a. i might get ripped off and b. i feel it will be on me if she takes something we buy....and it goes wrong. Im totally worn out but think im going to try going to docs with her as i dont just take no for an answer i want alot of answers if you see what i mean....I know she just needs a little help and it seems the only way offered right now is to sell my car and pay for it
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun May 01, 2016 6:37 am

we have been told she must reduce daily units from nearly 40 down to 27 to 30......before they will consider it.


Unfortunately many in medical field even today don't understand alcoholism. A chronic alcoholic cannot control the amount of liquor he/she puts in the body. The worst thing is, he/she cannot stay stopped. I will try sending your case to my mentor who is in this recovery field and see if he can suggest something.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby garyand claire » Sun May 01, 2016 6:46 am

Many thanks, Id appreciate any help possible right now. Thanks
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby Layne » Sun May 01, 2016 7:41 am

I was in about the same position as your partner many years back. I knew that I was in trouble and tried to taper down to avoid any medical issues. That plan didn't work for me. Tapering just didn't happen. I finally went cold turkey. I had an alcoholic seizure from acute alcohol withdrawal. Nearly impaled myself on a wrought iron fence, in front of my wife (an ER nurse) who was trying to help me walk off the jitters and anxiety. Got an emergency ambulance ride to the ER, IVs in the arms, the whole bit. I could have died from the seizure. That is a real possibility with alcoholic seizures. They can be life threatening.

I am not trying to scare you, just sharing the reality of my experience. Medical detox sounds like a prudent choice before any thoughts of entering a rehab or taking any other measures seeking a life of sobriety.

My heart goes out to you and your partner. It is a hellacious scenario that you are embroiled in at the moment, but there is hope.

On the 22nd of this month, this formerly hopeless and helpless alcoholic will celebrate 13 years of sobriety and the fact that I have learned how to be happy, joyous, and free from the shackles of alcohol. My obsession with drink is gone. The thought of alcohol never even enters my thoughts any more. Today I know peace and serenity. I owe it all to the program of AA and working the twelve steps.

Godspeed to you and your partner.
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby garyand claire » Sun May 01, 2016 8:27 am

Many Thanks for your reply. From what you have said our suspicions to try stopping are not a good idea. So we shall have to continue to try to drop slowly and hope local services will help in a couple of weeks with a detox.
THANKS FOR REPLIES SO FAR ALL .........
WE ARE STILL PARTICULARLY INTERESTED ON ADVICE FROM ANYONE WHO EXPERIENCED BAD DT'S AND ANY IDEAR'S ON EASING THESE
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby Reborn » Sun May 01, 2016 9:53 am

This post took me back to detoxing...I'm not sure where you are location wise..but have you tried going to the ER? That is what I had to do...alcohol withdrawal is nothing to play with. I would definitely suggest not getting librium online...you never know what you'll get. I know for me detoxing was one of the worst experiences of my life...but I made it. There is hope my friend alot of us went through this very thing and we now live happy lives.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby ezdzit247 » Sun May 01, 2016 11:16 am

Hi garyand claire

From your description, it sounds like your partner needs to be admitted to a hospital for a medical detox supervised by a doctor, especially if she has only been able to reduce her intake to 70 cl per day. Even if she were able to reduce it to 40 or 30 cl, she would still be at risk for seizures if she then went cold turkey. I'm in the US and not familiar with what a "community detox" is or whether it has a physician on staff.

She needs food in her stomach to reduce the shakes and librium is not a substitute for food. My last drunk left me in bad shape even though I'd been sober for almost two years and only drank for 3 or 4 days when I relapsed. I used an old fashion home remedy called a bourbon milkshake to get through the worst of it. The recipe is 1 cup of bourbon to 2 cups of vanilla ice cream mixed in a blender. Your partner may throw most of it up the first time but enough of it will stay down to start working on the shakes and more of it will stay down if she has another milkshake. I kept drinking bourbon milkshakes--no straight bourbon--until I knew I was ready to go without. It took me about a day to keep food down and get to that place in my head where I was ready to go without any booze. This home remedy is NOT a substitute for a medical detox nor will it prevent alcoholic seizures. It will only ease her suffering by getting food in her stomach until she can be admitted to a hospital and get medical care.
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby D'oh » Sun May 01, 2016 11:34 am

Wow that brings me back. The first time I came in I didn't have the DT's. The second time (last year) I certainly did. Bed Sweats, Shakes, Confusion, no sleep. I had them all. I could barely use an Interac Machine to buy a bottle from the shakes. The bottle I needed to stop the shakes.

But I knew that meetings had an answer. I went to meetings, even though I needed a couple of belts to get there and function without shaking or vomiting. 1 meeting I went for coffee after with some oldtimers. I could barely hold my cup without spilling. 1 of the Ol Timers even saw this and didn't say a word. He was around when I first came in 25 years ago.

But I kept going, with the Honest desire to Stop Drinking and get off the merry go round. It worked, with the help of the fellowship. Then a coffee meeting with another Ol Timer, I was reintroduced to the 3rd step and I was able to quit all together.

Get them to a meeting, even if they need some liquid help!
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby PaigeB » Sun May 01, 2016 11:39 am

People die from this disease. It tears up the body in more ways than a layman can see.

DO NOT consider folks at the rehab to be physicians - THEY ARE NOT.

Get to a DOCTOR immediately, either privately or to an emergency room. Many hospitals have detox units where medical professionals can assist.

Sorry about the cap letters. My brother in law died from this disease. His body was torn down by the time he tried to quit and a couple of full days after his last drink he had a seizure which was not recognized by his housemates at the homeless shelter. Later that day he began acting "intoxicated" as he was talking gibberish and stumbling and he soon fell into a coma with liver (and other organ) failure. He was taken to the ER by ambulance and placed in intensive care. Though he came out of the coma in time to talk a bit with his family, he never recovered and the disease took him.

No one would disagree with me saying SEE A REAL DOCTOR today. Please. This is a DISEASE.

My heart goes out to you. Please also seek help for yourself through Alanon.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/find-a-meeting
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun May 01, 2016 1:33 pm

This is from a Friend in London, if ur want to contact him, send me an email, I can hook him up with you.

But my advise is, depending on where they live, is to go to A&E, hopefully she will be admitted. The detox situation is terrible in th eUK as the funding has been slashed... But if in London, King's in Camberwell is probably the best..
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby Noels » Sun May 01, 2016 3:59 pm

Hi Gary, apart from all the excellent suggestions from my friends already given I can only add that i have found human touch to be very healing and comforting. Hold her against you when she gets the shakes as your calming energy will penetrate her energy/aura. Gentle massage of the scalp and face will help her to fall asleep quicker and she'll sleep for longer. Apart from that i found that sweet black tea ( here I'm talking 5 sugars ) and small bits of dry toast throughout the day was all i could stomach for a while. You can also try small bites of chocolate and dried peaches. Small sips of water or even sugar water if she can.
Many times we have a deficiency of B12, iron and vitamin D so perhaps have those levels tested when she sees the physician again.
Apart from that its also possible that her mind is telling her at the moment that she wont have enough liquor as she knows she is trying to decrease her intake which could be worsening the fear. (like a diet - when we go on a diet we crave all the foods we're not allowed to eat ). If this is the case she needs to change her mind set by constantly telling herself that she will have enough for the day, that it is her choice and that she's doing this for ... whatever reason she decided to. She may not believe it right in the beginning so it could be difficult for her for a while but she must just carry on saying it. She is teaching her mind how to think. Believe me it works.
Lastly try to keep her away from people, places and playgrounds (things) that she associates with alcohol/drinking. And pray my friend.
Look after yourself as she will now need your strength more than ever. You are both much stronger than you may currently think or feel. All the best of luck. We will keep you both in our prayers.
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby Lali » Sun May 01, 2016 4:19 pm

GO IMMEDIATELY TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. They will hydrate her (which is very important) and they will give her Librium for the shakes. Don't dilly dally any longer or try to get any more advice, just go straight to the ER.

P.S. Once she is ready to be released, she will be ready to go to rehab and/or meetings.
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Re: Urgent advice needed

Postby Layne » Sun May 01, 2016 6:45 pm

Detox is a very serious matter and best done under direct medical supervision. Get help, the sooner, the better. You are dealing with a potentially life threatening situation. I have to believe that the following quotes come from hard earned experience from people that fully understand the severity of the situation.
Layne wrote: I could have died from the seizure. That is a real possibility with alcoholic seizures. They can be life threatening.

Reborn wrote: have you tried going to the ER? That is what I had to do...alcohol withdrawal is nothing to play with.

ezdzit247 wrote: your partner needs to be admitted to a hospital for a medical detox supervised by a doctor,

PaigeB wrote:Get to a DOCTOR immediately, either privately or to an emergency room. Many hospitals have detox units where medical professionals can assist.
...No one would disagree with me saying SEE A REAL DOCTOR today. Please.

Lali wrote:GO IMMEDIATELY TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM. They will hydrate her (which is very important) and they will give her Librium for the shakes. Don't dilly dally any longer or try to get any more advice, just go straight to the ER.
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