When depression phase will go away?

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When depression phase will go away?

Postby Kardin » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:04 am

Hello,

I am 27 years old guy from East Europe (sorry for my bad grammar), I decided to share my story because I feel bad and need some support.
I spend last 10 years drinking, in the beginning it was innocent habit, when I was studying in university we had a wild parties every weekend, later when I got a job I was drinking with my co-workers, we went to the bar pretty often, and to take some glasses of beer per day was pretty normal to me. I were smoking as well, so I don't know what is worse, drinking or smoking, but I smokedg about 1 pack of cigarettes per day. I smoked a lot of weed as well.
My grandfather is an alcoholic so maybe I have this gene... I don't know.
This year I have quited my job and decided to change my lifestyle cardinally. I have found a girlfriend and I don't want her to see me drunk. And I want to get a better physical shape. I quited everythink, drinking, smoking, junk food... I started to do sports. I am clean for almost 3 months and I feel that my phycical health improved a lot. I do 10 kilometers with my bicycle everyday and weight lifting. But deep inside I feel so bad. Except my girlfriend I have no friends to talk, all my old friends left me, because I am not participating in parties anymore.
It's hard to explain what I feel... I think I have depression. But I don't want medicaments. I don't want one more addiction. I have mood swings. I feel sad almost 90% of my day. Sober life looks so boring to me now. Sometimes I ask myself "whats the point to have a health body if I cant drink and smoke?". I am afraid if I lose the control. I tried to find new hobbies, but I am probably to much depressed to enjoy something.

When depression phase will go away?
Any advices how to keep strong?

I am from the countryside so I don't have any AA clubs around
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby positrac » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:20 am

I do have to ask why you quit everything? Do you want to have failure? Seriously it has been my experience that we have to look at everything and wisely change people, place and things. I don't know if you are an alcoholic and that will come from you admitting you have a problem and that problem has made life uncontrollable.

Depression is a by-product of life and your make up as a person and it could be short lived and it may be around your whole life and handling depression is touchy and difficult if not addressed correctly.

I appreciate your post and I would recommend not trying to turn over a new leaf until you have controls in place to handle the outcomes of these new changes.

I am sure others might have suggestions that could be of better help than mine. Relax and step back from some things and maybe the light will go off and you can better judge things. Going to AA meetings might also be the best failsafe as someone in those meetings might remind you of yourself and then you can see better as you won't be alone.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:27 am

When depression phase will go away?


When we start accepting life the way it is presented to us. But first of all, we need to address the powerlessness and un-manageability concepts of step one. Looks like after you quit drinking, you are feeling miserable inside.

There is a common trait of alcoholism. Some call it spiritual malady, some call it un-treated alcoholism. Its all internal un-manageability. Left un-addressed it will lead you back to that first drink. Then off to the races.

There are couple of stories in the big book to illustrate this cycle. You may read the chapter "More About Alcoholism". Perhaps you could relate to Fred the accountant story.

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/en_bigbook_chapt3.pdf
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby Kardin » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:29 am

positrac wrote:I do have to ask why you quit everything? Do you want to have failure? Seriously it has been my experience that we have to look at everything and wisely change people, place and things. I don't know if you are an alcoholic and that will come from you admitting you have a problem and that problem has made life uncontrollable.


I though that will be easy and I am mentally strong enough, but it seems I am not. Anyway thanks for your reply.
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby Stepchild » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:31 am

Welcome to the site Kardin....I highly suggest reading the book Alcoholics Anonymous...You can google it and read it free online. They explain the problem and offer a solution. It has worked for me and millions of others.

Kardin wrote: I am clean for almost 3 months and I feel that my phycical health improved a lot. I do 10 kilometers with my bicycle everyday and weight lifting. But deep inside I feel so bad. Except my girlfriend I have no friends to talk, all my old friends left me, because I am not participating in parties anymore.
It's hard to explain what I feel... I think I have depression. But I don't want medicaments. I don't want one more addiction. I have mood swings. I feel sad almost 90% of my day. Sober life looks so boring to me now. Sometimes I ask myself "whats the point to have a health body if I cant drink and smoke?". I am afraid if I lose the control. I tried to find new hobbies, but I am probably to much depressed to enjoy something.

When depression phase will go away?
Any advices how to keep strong?

I am from the countryside so I don't have any AA clubs around


Here is an excerpt from the the beginning of the book in a section called The Doctors Opinion...See if you relate.

(Alcoholic) Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity(without injurious consequences). After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops(Physical craving for more), they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.
On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.


This psychic change comes from working the 12 steps....The few simple rules we have to follow.....The directions for which...Are in the book. Your English is very good...Glad you found the site.
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby Stepchild » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:39 am

I see Avaneesh has posted a link to the book...Thanks Avaneesh. Definitely give the The Doctor's Opinion and the first 3 chapters a good read. If you have questions...Feel free to ask them here.
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby Kardin » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:46 am

Thank you both for the link, I think some literature would be really useful.
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby Stepchild » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:49 am

Kardin wrote:Thank you both for the link, I think some literature would be really useful.


I sent you a Private Message....You can read it at the top left of the page. It is a much more user friendly version of the book. I can't post the link on here.....Per rules...So I have to send it.
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby avaneesh912 » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:51 am

Bill W got inspired by Ebby his friend and Dr. Bob got inspired by Bill W. And they both inspired Bill D. Thats how this program works. From one alcoholic to another. We are there for you buddy. Like Stepchild said, feel free to ask questions.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby clouds » Thu Apr 21, 2016 8:17 am

Welcome Kardin, glad to have you here.

Much good can come from reading the book Alcohoics Anonymous, as was mentioned by others here the Preface, the Doctor's Opinion and then reading through to page 43 will give you a solid understanding of what it is to be an alcoholic.

If you find you can't quit drinking when you really want to, or you can't stop drinking once you have started that is a pretty good sign of alcoholism. Also, black outs, where you have no memory of how you got home from a party or the bar the night before.

Especially we find we can make a decision to stop drinking for many good reasons, but eventually we find ourselves right back in the old drunken state again. These are some of the things I went through myself and when I read the AA book I realized that the people who wrote it understood my problem. That was good, because the rest of the book has the solution for that problem. I did the 12 steps and I got sober. It will work for you too.

Regards. :)
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby Brock » Thu Apr 21, 2016 10:50 am

Welcome Kardin. You have had some good advise so far, I would just mention two things which have not been said.

You did say you didn't want to take any medicine, particularly your worry of becoming addicted to something. Please keep in mind that depression is a fairly common and treatable illness, in this day and age there are many effective treatments, it might be worth speaking to your doctor about this. The writer of the book recommended to you, which is the main text of AA, suffered from depression very badly.

The other thing we see in the book, is that when an alcoholic is able to stop drinking without help of the program of AA, they are often irritable and unhappy. The AA program is a simple way of living with certain principles in mind, and has the effect of removing that irritable unhappy feeling. I wish you the best in finding what so many of us have found, a life of contentment we never thought possible.
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby ezdzit247 » Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:15 pm

Hi Kardin and welcome.

Congratulations on almost 3 months of sobriety!

AA has a pamphlet entitled "This is AA - An introduction to the AA recovery program" which will help answer some of the questions you posted as well as questions you may have about how the AA program works. You can read the pamphlet online in English by clicking on this link:

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-1_thisisaa1.pdf.

Your English is very good and you express yourself well, but if you feel more comfortable using your native language, AA publishes most all of it's literature in several other languages besides English. This link will take you to the AA World Services bookstore where you can browse the list:

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/aaws-online-store-portals

Even if you don't have any AA meetings listed for your area, if you call the local AA helpline in the city nearest you. the helpline can put you in contact with another sober alcoholic to talk to and may know of other AA members who live in your area you can talk with. Most AA members in our fellowship agree that it's very helpful to stay in contact with other sober members, especially in the beginning of sobriety. Depression seems to be a fairly common experience in our fellowship, especially in the beginning. For most of us it does go away as we gain more and more physical sobriety, but it goes away much much faster if we share what we're going through in a meeting or with another AA member. Glad you found this forum. Looking forward to reading more of your posts.

Keep coming back.....
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby K225 » Sun May 15, 2016 8:35 pm

Did you quit everything at once? That's a serious shock to your body, which is probably why you're depressed. Nicotene withdrawal is pretty brutal and lasts a long time which would explain the mood swings. Alcohol will cause the most trouble in your life so best to work on that first and then focus on the other stuff. Allow yourself some junk food or you'll go crazy.
"When you're going through hell, keep going".-Winston Churchill
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Re: When depression phase will go away?

Postby oldhipster » Sun Jul 03, 2016 7:48 pm

WE all want to fit in! Into what; I didn't know. I just wanted to be loved. I was,. but I didn't know it. Why didn't I know it? Because I couldn't FEEL it. I lived by my feelings and they were always lying to me. WE mess the chemicals up in our body by adding more chemicals. Sometimes it takes a good dr. to diagnose our depression. I'm a firm believer in the power of the 12 steps. I just had to get with the right people to explain what they meant and how to apply them to my life. I went outside of AA to get some help. There are some very good people who know what AA is about and can offer some very good council. I had to ask for help in finding these people in my area. AA is like going to church. Some people go to church every Sunday morning but never study the Bible and they can't figure out why they are miserable. People go to AA and never study the Big Book and can't figure out why they are not happy. The AA program is the 12 steps and the meetings are fellowship. Just socializing with people won't bring about the happiness we seek.
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