Need help quiting drinking

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Need help quiting drinking

Postby voncloft » Sat Apr 16, 2016 7:31 pm

I gave up smoking - and as of 4/22/16 it will have been 9 months - now don't get me wrong I would absolutely LOVE to walk on broken glass with my tongue for one good drag of a cigarette that did me no harm. (but I won't just for simplistic state)

How can I feel the same way about drinking? I gave up smoking under the assumption of "cigarettes = pretty good chance of developing lung cancer and breathing through a tube?" (yet I still want a cigarette but haven't under 9 months - due to that logic)

Now you "think" I would be able to follow the same logic upon other aspects of life such as drinking: however I have not been able to.

I think I have established to myself "fear" is the reason I change, (it is the reason I gave up cigarettes, why I exercise, and order nutrisystem - to prolong my life) - YET - me drinking alcohol, I can come up with the assumption of: "drinking can cause liver failure" - just doesn't scare me.

For example: today I ate my diet (breakfast, snack, lunch, snack) and for me being stupid I skipped my dinner, went to the liquor store, and just bought beer and drank myself til I was drunk - and to add insult to injury I went to a wings pub and just ate wings and of course ordered a beer (honestly I think the whole situation could have been avoided IF i had chosen to not drink but hey my logic sucks!!)

Any advice? It seems like I can have a "good plan" in place to follow - but when push comes to shove I fail miserably?

Not to mention I will probably wake up tomorrow morning with a headache - thankfully it is Sunday and I have the day off but still - that logic of a wasted weekend day (being sick all day) will not stop me from drinking.....thanks.

(also I have in the past poured my drinks down the drain - what do I do the week after? well buy more drinks of course)

I guess I am asking to help find a "mechanism" to help me stop overriding my reward center (for example - "if you go a whole week not smoking you can buy yourself a cherry coke" realizing later "I'm an adult I can do as I damn well please, buy the drink, and smoke anyway"...I hope you get the idea(how I quit smoking is beyond me - am I just doomed to fail in life with addiction?))
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Re: Need help quiting drinking

Postby ezdzit247 » Sat Apr 16, 2016 10:10 pm

Hi vonclof and welcome.

Glad you found this online forum and reached out for help with your drinking problem.

AA actually does have a real good "mechanism" for staying away from that first drink. When I finally tried it after two years of struggling to stay sober, and failing every time, I was able to get and stay sober. AA calls it the "24 hour plan" and has published a pamphlet explaining how it works entitled: "This is AA - An introduction to the AA recovery program" You can read it online by clicking on this link:

Here's an excerpt from the pamphlet explaining hiw the "mechanism" works:

"For example, we take no pledges, we don’t say that we will “never” drink again. Instead, we try to follow what we in A.A. call the “24-hour plan.” We concentrate on keeping sober just the current twenty-four hours. We simply try to get through one day at a time without a drink. If we feel the urge for a drink, we neither yield nor resist. We merely put off taking that particular drink until tomorrow…."

I also went to an AA meeting every day for about the first 3 months and got a lot of encouragement and support from other AA members in the rooms, some who were newly sober like me and others who were months or years sober. Going to the meetings really helped me, especially going to evening meetings which was the time of the day I would normally feel like picking up that first drink and keep drinking until I passed out. Instead of isolating myself in my home and inevitably thinking about drinking, I changed my routine and went to an AA meeting instead, I found that going to meetings, hanging out with a bunch of people just like me--sober drunks--not only kept me distracted from thinking about drinking or thinking about time and how slow it can sometimes seem to pass, was something I actually liked. It was kind of a weird change for me because I'd always loathed other kinds of meetings--staff meetings, business meetings, PTA meetings, etc. If you haven't been to an AA meeting, you might want to try going to one to learn more about how the AA program works and how it can help you with your drinking problem. Please feel free to ask any question you may have in this forum as well.

Keep coming back.... :D
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Re: Need help quiting drinking

Postby PaigeB » Sat Apr 16, 2016 10:43 pm

When I came back to AA after drinking again for 17 years, I knew that if I wanted long term sobriety I would have to go to AA and work the 12 Steps.

I completely understand about the lack of logic where we drink even when we don't necessarily want to. We have a disease that makes us believe that this time we will control and enjoy our drinking. But for me, time after time, after time I just came to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization inside myself.

No matter where you live you will find other likes you right in your area! Go see them! Ask some questions. Pick up the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous - that is where the Solution is. It is a bonus for me that I have come to bond with these people and find they truly care about me and I about them. It is always a joy to see them. At first my legs felt like lead and my head kept wanting me to drive to the store, but I finally managed to get through the doors to a meeting and I was greeted with love and joy. You too will be welcomed with open arms.

Here is the link to find AA's in your area!
Good luck and keep comin here! We'd love to chat and share some experience, strength and hope!

Recovery from this disease is possible!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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Re: Need help quiting drinking

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Apr 17, 2016 5:16 am

Now you "think" I would be able to follow the same logic upon other aspects of life such as drinking: however I have not been able to.

Some of us were able to control and enjoy our drinking. But somewhere during that phase, we have crossed the line. The key is, we will always go back to that drink. Thats because of our mangled mind. As the Big Book says, we need a psychic change-A change in attitude toward life.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Need help quiting drinking

Postby Larryp713 » Mon Apr 18, 2016 11:23 am

voncloft wrote:How can I feel the same way about drinking? I gave up smoking under the assumption of "cigarettes = pretty good chance of developing lung cancer and breathing through a tube?" (yet I still want a cigarette but haven't under 9 months - due to that logic)

Congrats on quitting smoking. I have heard from many that quitting smoking was harder than quitting drinking.

Quitting drinking for me was very hard. I always obsessed about drinking when I was on my dry periods. It is only when I had a spiritual awakening from working these steps that my obsession was removed. But that sounds very generic, so let me be specific. Since I had my first drink as a 12 year old, I always found drinking to be comforting and fun. The older I got, the more I enjoyed it. But I hated the consequences, especially troubles with the law and my wife. I finally came to understand there was no way I was going to escape the consequences of drinking, and that in addition to stealing my freedom and killing my cherished relationships, it was starting to impact my health. I came to understand what an alcoholic death entailed, and that I was heading in that direction.

When I finally admitted that there was no way I could drink and avoid these consequences and an alcoholic death, and I made a commitment to this design for living outlined in AA, my reaction to drinking has changed. I cannot think of even one drink without knowing the low point I will definitely hit. I don't want to drink today. Its a miracle. But I need this program because I don't know how to handle life sober.

When you reach a point of reasonable desperation and really turn your will to your higher power, as you find that power through working the AA program, you will have that spiritual awakening that will be your key to freedom. I wish you all the best. Larry
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