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Bye Bye

PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 2:48 am
by ChancesAh
I've been off the booze for 12 months now.
Ultimately AA was a help at first. The personal side of the weekly meetings I attended gave a lot of strength.
In all honesty I've found this site 50/50. There seems to be to many old know all types to quick and vocal telling
you what AA says, what you should do and on occasions indicating that non conformers aren't welcome.

Ultimately I didn't do the 12 steps. I started it but the sponsor thing just doesn't float my boat. I can see the
benefits in it but it's not a be all and end all. I'm pursuing other means / programs / methods / study etc for
character improvement, anxiety etc.

Anyway, the idea of going to meetings or performing circular repetitive motions for life is not the answer for me.
Indeed, whilst I have flaws that need fixing and issues to address I know that I have to leave the idea of alcoholism
in the past where it belongs. I know I'm not along as the percentage of members in AA is extremely heavy in the
newcomers and thins fast after a few years. I have no doubt for me that the continued practice of preaching my
alcoholism will only inspire my mind to question the whole situation and put me at risk. Indeed whilst those meetings
brought some welcome support I find now that failing of other members and the die hard 'you must do the steps' has
become a greater source of stress than the meetings offer in support.

So, please feel free to delete this account - and to those particular know all old fools (especially the grub who likes
to judge and send PMs) please try doing your 12 steps again - you might find if you do it enough you discover a life on
the other side instead of your judgemental existence.

So, I moving onto other things including meditation. I'll also be using other more social site which are accepting of
all beliefs and methods without judgement or demands for compliance to a book written before the age of computers.

Re: Bye Bye

PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 4:24 am
by avaneesh912
Good luck. If you need any help feel free to come back. Doors of AA will always be open.

Re: Bye Bye

PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 8:11 am
by cpr123
Hate to see someone go, but the AA book never said it was the only solution. I have 5 months now and it is because of this board and AA meetings. In the past I felt the same as you but this board became a safe place for me outside my normal local meeting. I hate it did not for you. I asked my sponcer to sponcer me and he said he doesn't like that word. He said he is a friend that will help me with the steps and to always call before taking the first drink. I've been in and out for 20 years and I could not find another way. I hope it works for you and I did appreciate reading your post.

Re: Bye Bye

PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2016 2:10 pm
by ezdzit247
Congratulations on 1 year of sobriety!

Illegitimi non carborundum, especially the really obnoxious ones that send you unsolicited PM's. Keep in mind that the e-aa forum really isn't an AA meeting. It's more like a gathering of AA members in a coffee shop in the meetings after the real AA meetings. There are other forums, other "coffee shops", other "meetings after the meetings". Some have members that are wrapped way too tight, others way too loose, but there are always some members who are "just right" for the kind of fellowship you are seeking.

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Re: Bye Bye

PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2016 1:43 pm
by RobC
AA is not for everyone. Congrats on 12 months. Best of luck to you.

Re: Bye Bye

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 7:50 am
by clouds
Best wishes Chanceah,

We try to share our experiences honestly, which you have done. I know a lot of AA can sound like preaching or it comes from a moral hilltop. Sorry AA didn't help you find a solution. Thanks for sharing your experience.

I hope that "the road does not come up to meet you." I had that happen quite a few times when I got drunk and it was not a good experience! :lol:

Re: Bye Bye

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 2:41 pm
by ezdzit247
clouds wrote:
....I hope that "the road does not come up to meet you." I had that happen quite a few times when I got drunk and it was not a good experience! :lol:

Really? For me, the words in this Irish blessing refer to THE road, the Road of Happy Destiny, and I certainly hope this road does come up to meet the OP. even if doesn't find it in AA. There are, after all, many paths to spirituality, many paths up the mountain, and "all roads lead to Mecca".

Re: Bye Bye

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 4:38 pm
by D'oh
Congrats on your 12 months, and good luck on your adventures.

And yes, I get about a 50/50 insight here also, but that is still 50% more insight than I get on my own.

And I will say this, from my own experience, it may or may not have anything to do with your decision to leave. But for myself, I have learnt that if I am not feeling the flow of life or the program. I start looking for thing to blame it on. People Places, Life's turmoil's. Anything external, as I build on my Pity Pot. Luckily someone or something, snaps me out of my way of thinking, before I build a big enough case to say Screw it and get drunk.

It is almost like I work up a reason that is not mine, to drink. Maybe so I can justify the reasoning, I mean anyone would drink going through what I just went through.

In the light of the Havoc Alcohol has caused in my life, it seems silly. So just beware as you go on from here, if you are still here.

Re: Bye Bye

PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2016 6:13 pm
by cpr123
I believe clouds was making a joke about falling down and hitting his head face first. That's how I took it.