Here I am Again

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Re: Here I am Again

Postby ChancesAh » Mon Feb 15, 2016 6:58 pm

Your story is a realistic and great warning to all.

I've been off the drink for a year. I've only ever done the one meeting a week. I'd imagine in about 3 months I'll move on from meetings as they really don't do much now. They were a help but as I learn and move forward I can't see the point to them for me - because they don't help me. Others will think different and as such should continue going if that's what is best for them.

The thing is (in my opinion) - AA is new comer (less than 3 yrs sober) heavy with the numbers thinning fast above that. So it clearly isn't necessary for the majority after a time or the whole program is only successful short term.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby clouds » Tue Feb 16, 2016 11:58 am

Spirit Flower wrote:
I hope everyone with double digit sobriety stays sober, but also keep showing up.


Thanks Spirit Flower! :)
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby avaneesh912 » Tue Feb 16, 2016 12:20 pm

So it clearly isn't necessary for the majority after a time or the whole program is only successful short term.


It is successful for individuals who follow the principles of the program in all their affairs. Its zen like. If they don't they fall, no matter how long they have.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby clouds » Tue Feb 16, 2016 1:02 pm

I hear so many people say "its a zen thing", I always wonder what it means.

Please could you explain it? :D
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby TBML » Sun Feb 21, 2016 5:20 am

Well, another week under my belt.

It was a pretty good week, but I must admit I did find myself thinking about drinking two times. It was not a serious consideration, but more of a fleeting thought. I believe it was due to boredom mostly. This time of the year has always been slow for me. I need to find more activities to occupy my time in the winter.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby avaneesh912 » Sun Feb 21, 2016 5:45 am

Boredom, yes. I could relate to that. With the acceptance of Internet across the world, its such a boon. You could be connected with anything you want. We could use it in a nice way or a we could continue our psychic pollution on the internet too. But boredom for me is no longer an issue. There is so much to explore, just sitting in front of the computer.
Show him, from your own experience, how the peculiar mental condition surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the will power (Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby clouds » Sun Feb 21, 2016 8:20 am

TBML wrote:Well, another week under my belt.

It was a pretty good week, but I must admit I did find myself thinking about drinking two times. It was not a serious consideration, but more of a fleeting thought. I believe it was due to boredom mostly. This time of the year has always been slow for me. I need to find more activities to occupy my time in the winter.


Hi TBML,

I have had a thought of drinking a few times since my beginning sobriety. It always scares me a little, so I talk to my sponsor or another AA about it. Reminds me I'm not cured of alcoholism, just have a daily reprieve dependent on the daily maintenance of my spiritual condition. I find the spiritual condition and keeping it growing is interesting in itself.
On days I am mor spiritually fit I have peace of mind and acceptance of those around me and events that happen.

For me its not about fleeting thoughts, its why are fleeting thoughts coming to my mind? Check it out in step 10 and have a chat with someone in AA. Going to more meetings can also be good during times of year that are problematic. That always worked for me.

Reading a spiritual book often gives me new insights and renews me from the doldrums.

Take care. :)
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby Robert R » Sun Feb 21, 2016 8:47 am

Hi TBML, As long as we continue to be honest about our thoughts and share them with another alcoholic we take away their power to control our actions. There are phases many share that they go through, the thought out of the blue, drinking dreams and momentary confusion. In my experience and listening to others these things do pass given a little time if we get involved in the programme and follow the suggestions as given in the Big Book.

Robert
Don't know exactly where I am going but I'm on my way and it's already much better than where I've been.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby TBML » Thu Feb 25, 2016 7:47 am

Robert R,

You hit the nail on the head. The path to sobriety starts with honesty, first being honest with ourselves, and then being honest with others.

I now look back at the 20 some years of sobriety I had, and regret the day I gave it up. I am a better person w/o alcohol.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby positrac » Thu Feb 25, 2016 7:58 am

Spirit Flower wrote:
When you have been sober as long as I have you worry about letting the people with ten years sobriety drive home from the meeting alone!
I didn't go to meetings for about 7 years, for various reasons. But in my 27th year of sobriety, I came upon a situation where I thought, "I am so freaking glad I'm sober." Whereupon, at the earliest opportunity returning states side, I returned to meetings. Now my message is often like this, "I have 30 years of sobriety and am so freaking grateful I have the humility to step into this room." I hope everyone with double digit sobriety stays sober, but also keep showing up.

Growth and staying sober is what it is about and I have a few 24 hours under my belt and I have witnessed those who thought they were cured. This ain't a joke and or something to point fingers at because we live to live and not live to just die. I have a legacy and though it might not be overly important to many; I know some folks who will never have known me as the drunk God willing and I can prove that if we comment then we can conquer the desire to want to take that first drink. I am far from cured and I know I am one drink away from what I was so long ago and these points keep me aware of my surroundings.

it is an inside job and yet a group effort.
You must live your life from beginning to end: No one else can do it for you.
Hopi Proverb
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby TBML » Tue Mar 01, 2016 2:16 pm

Well it's been over another week, and I'm still working on the boredom thing. I have found that when I have kept busy, that the thought of drinking has rarely crossed my mind.

Looking back at the last year or so, I can see that I probably went back to drinking as an attempt to forget about some of my problems, if only for a while. But we all should be able to realize that you never deal with a problem when you are 'forgetting' about it, or trying to.

I've been working on some home repair projects as well as walking my dog for a couple of miles on the nicer days, being tired feels good. Now if I could just stop waking up at 5:00 a.m.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby tyg » Tue Mar 01, 2016 11:44 pm

I remember when there was a time I wasn't treating my alcoholism with the 12 Steps. I needed to keep busy and kept occupied doing all sorts of things in & out of AA. I didn't need to keep busy because I was thinking about drinking....

It was because I didn't want to feel or get to know or be with my true self. I was running away from me. This was no way to live. It is insanity & and an unmanageable life. Today I am very content and do not have that insane urge to keep busy all the time.

It is all because I found another alcoholic to take me through the 12 Steps. I did them thoroughly and honestly with another. I got into a lot of service in meetings. I reached out to others to show those, "who wanted to recover," how. And, I did what I could to carry the message in the meetings. I am at peace with myself today...thank you AA for showing me a design for living that is freaking awesome and really works.
~The secret to the AA program is the first three words on page 112~
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby Duke » Wed Mar 02, 2016 2:24 am

Thanks for sharing your story. I wish you the best.

I've been at this for over thirty years and I honestly don't know how much I need meetings and other AA specific activities to stay sober. However, I am reminded on a regular basis how much I need them to stay emotionally and spiritually balanced.

I hope I never lose the wonder and gratitude I feel at being a part of something that gives purpose and meaning to so many people.

Keep coming back.
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby TBML » Sun Mar 06, 2016 8:56 am

This past week was pretty good, other than the weather. I'm an outside kind of guy and like to be doing something as often as possible. I got out for a few walks with my dog in between the snow and the rain. I don't remember a winter as wet and dreary as this. It's grey again today.

I'm finding that I am thinking about alcohol less, but still mostly at night when I am sitting around on the internet or doing nothing. Living alone takes a lot of getting used to. Thankfully when these thoughts come, they are fleeting and are not serious considerations.
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Re: Here I am Again

Postby PaigeB » Sun Mar 06, 2016 1:52 pm

I found I had to be careful that such thoughts stay fleeting! If I harbor them at all (like harboring a thief), if I entertain them (have them over for tea and a cookie while we chat) then I have already crossed a line and need to get together with another AA quickly. Like the bad friend my mother warned me about, alcohol is a leach and will stick itself to me even if I do everything I can to get away from it.

I really needed to replace alcohol with something and I replaced it with the Fellowship of AA.

I also did the Steps and I spend a lot of time everyday thinking about living a principled life and when I will next see my AA people!

Keep coming back - and keep on replacing those thoughts with different, better thoughts!
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
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