Journey back to sobriety

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby GreatD » Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:06 pm

One week down. today has been the best one yet. I was on this board for hours last night reading threads. Finding thing after thing I relate to
Thank you again to everyone who has replied
GreatD
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:18 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby Chelle » Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:20 pm

Good job GreatD! I spend a lot of nights in here reading too. People that have posted stuff here three years ago are still helping me today! I wish I would have found it 8 months sooner during my first sober nights of tossing and turning. Keep up the good work!
User avatar
Chelle
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 208
Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2015 10:12 am
Location: Midwest US

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby Robert R » Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:39 pm

Good stuff friend, rewards generally match the work put in. Keep working and reaping the rewards. Never forgetting that a bad day sober is a whole lot better than a good (?) day drunk.
Searching back through old posts does through up some real pearls of wisdom.
Don't know exactly where I am going but I'm on my way and it's already much better than where I've been.
Robert R
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Sat Aug 29, 2015 1:53 am
Location: Aberdeenshire, Scotland

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby Tosh » Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:16 pm

GreatD wrote:I've been in and out of the program for years.


GreatD, can I be a bit nosey and ask what you mean about being 'in the program'? Do you mean you've been through the first 9 steps and practised 10, 11, and 12 on a daily basis as best you can? Did you sponsor other guys through the program too?

I only ask because sometimes I get the impression that 'being in the program' means 'not drinking and going to meetings'.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
User avatar
Tosh
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 3645
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 10:43 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby GreatD » Sat Dec 19, 2015 5:38 pm

Tosh wrote:
GreatD wrote:I've been in and out of the program for years.


GreatD, can I be a bit nosey and ask what you mean about being 'in the program'? Do you mean you've been through the first 9 steps and practised 10, 11, and 12 on a daily basis as best you can? Did you sponsor other guys through the program too?

I only ask because sometimes I get the impression that 'being in the program' means 'not drinking and going to meetings'.



I'll answer this more in depth when I have a keyboard. At first I was just going to meetings. Wasn't working steps. This was years, but i kept coming back. Sometimes there's nothing worse than a belly full of booze and a head full of AA. I've worked the steps before and stayed sober, only to quit going and working. For a while I thought I was incapable of being honest with myself. I believe the steps work...or I wouldn't be here..but it's a matter working them and sticking to it. ...and finding a way to be honest with myself
GreatD
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:18 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby Tosh » Sun Dec 20, 2015 2:37 am

GreatD wrote:For a while I thought I was incapable of being honest with myself. I believe the steps work...or I wouldn't be here..but it's a matter working them and sticking to it. ...and finding a way to be honest with myself


The Big Book talks about 'developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty' (emphasis mine).

I think the key word is 'developing', and I think it's a life-long process. I'm not typing this to beat you with it; just the opposite really. We're human, not Saints.

I'm the kind of person who gets bored easily, and meetings can be boring; week-after-week of doing service, hearing the same folk talk, etc. For me, working with others is what keeps me motivated and practising these principles. I spent two hours having a coffee with a newcomer yesterday, we did the Step 3 prayer and I shared some of my Step 4 with him and showed him how to do a Step 4. We've booked a date for a 5th Step too. It's been the most useful thing I'll have done all weekend. It's a good feeling to feel useful.

And we discussed general concepts like 'love' and 'what it means to be happy' too. It's good for me to have discussions like this. I then return home - and for a while - I'm a better human being around my family.

I don't worry too much about honesty these days; I can't think of much I have to be dishonest about; but maybe that's one of those blind spots? Hopefully more will be revealed.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
User avatar
Tosh
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 3645
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 10:43 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby GreatD » Sun Dec 20, 2015 7:52 am

Thank you Trosh...

I chair a few meetings online. Try to stay late as I can after meetings but they are usually on my lunch break so I have to get back. I will have to find ways to stay involved. Like you, I get bored easily.

I'm working on that progress not perfection thing. I wish the wife would see it that way too but understand why she doesn't.

On a lighter note...it's amazing what you can do when you aren't drinking 5 to 8000 extra calories in a week. I've been eating m&m's and barbaque all week and have lost 8lbs
GreatD
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:18 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby Tosh » Sun Dec 20, 2015 8:12 am

GreatD wrote: I will have to find ways to stay involved. Like you, I get bored easily.


Go fishing for newcomers, mate. It's good fun and every guy I 'hook' and get to be part of their sobriety with, is just amazing. Each guy is like an adventure. If it wasn't for this 'jewel' of our 12 Step process, I think I'd have moved on.

GreatD wrote:I'm working on that progress not perfection thing. I wish the wife would see it that way too but understand why she doesn't.


I've one of them too. :lol:

I try to look at my family as teachers, of patience and tolerance. An amazing (but often undervalued) lesson from the Big Book is the 'pause, when agitated'. The next time your wife 'bites' you, don't retaliate, take a pause, and see what happens. Sometimes, after the pause, Mrs Tosh has apologised for biting me. It's like the pause gives them time to think. This is A.A. Yoda stuff.

And for a while I got into Buddhism, I even did a two year course in it (I'm not a Buddhist), but Mrs Tosh would comment when I was annoyed or angry, "That's not very Buddhist of you..." and I'd be like "I'm not the ruddy Buddha", or "Even the Buddha would get annoyed with you!" :lol:

I think us alkies, who're lucky enough to have families, can really grow spiritually, because we have so much 'stuff' (our families) to practise these principles with. And yeh, of course we'll make mistakes, but that's all part of being on a spiritual path.

GreatD wrote:On a lighter note...it's amazing what you can do when you aren't drinking 5 to 8000 extra calories in a week. I've been eating m&m's and barbaque all week and have lost 8lbs


Got any running shoes?
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
User avatar
Tosh
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 3645
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 10:43 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby GreatD » Mon Dec 21, 2015 5:25 pm

Last/only f2f meeting for the week in the books. Met a good contact there. On the road for a few days during the holiday...
Still eating those M&M's
GreatD
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:18 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby GreatD » Wed Dec 23, 2015 7:56 am

For whatever reason, I kept my 4th step paper from 3 years ago. I had kept it in a book locked up for all this time. Several of the things that were bothering me then are still bothering me now. Some have been resolved, some haven't. I need to squash these things. I'm going to write out something new...with ways to resolve them. Then I'm going to take the old 4th step and burn it. It's time to move on...
GreatD
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:18 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby clouds » Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:22 am

In my experience it never hurts to do a little more step four.

I recently, a few months ago, 'cleaned house' and its had a real big positive effect in my life.

As I go through my years, things change, so revisiting the personal inventory is something I recommend.

Good on, it can only make you better! :)
" Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house." page 98 A.A.
User avatar
clouds
Trusted Servant
 
Posts: 1061
Joined: Mon Mar 23, 2015 11:45 am
Location: España

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby Lali » Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:37 am

Hi, GreatD! My thought would be to keep the old step 4, especially bcos you say not all things listed have been resolved. Why not just add to it? Just a thought... And another thought I have is that something was there then and you are wanting to add it now, it is probably an important defect to work on!

Whatever you do, Good Luck, friend!
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him
Lali
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 4869
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:13 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby Chelle » Wed Dec 23, 2015 9:53 am

Interesting that you found your 4th step...When I did my fifth a few months ago, I wanted to tear mine up with my sponsor. She said "I'm just going to hang onto this". I didn't really like the idea of "evidence" as I saw it hanging around out there. I bit my tongue about it, but you have me wondering if she had a reason for it..more will be revealed, I suppose.

My thought would be to not be hasty in burning it just yet. Maybe wait a little bit. Could be a reason you still have it :D
User avatar
Chelle
Forums Contributor
 
Posts: 208
Joined: Tue Oct 06, 2015 10:12 am
Location: Midwest US

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby Tosh » Wed Dec 23, 2015 12:08 pm

Zimmy wrote:Interesting that you found your 4th step...When I did my fifth a few months ago, I wanted to tear mine up with my sponsor. She said "I'm just going to hang onto this". I didn't really like the idea of "evidence" as I saw it hanging around out there. I bit my tongue about it, but you have me wondering if she had a reason for it..more will be revealed, I suppose.

My thought would be to not be hasty in burning it just yet. Maybe wait a little bit. Could be a reason you still have it :D


My sponsor used his 4th Step as a teaching aid to show me how to do a 4th Step. I keep mine for the same reason. And I suggest to sponsees they do the same also. I also suggest that anything they'd really want to keep secret from prying eyes, they write it in some kind of short-hand.

We're not meant to regret the past, our past is our greatest asset in helping other alkies. My experience is that my relationship with my past has changed, so I'm okay hanging onto my 4th Step.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)
User avatar
Tosh
Forums Old Timer
 
Posts: 3645
Joined: Fri May 13, 2011 10:43 am

Re: Journey back to sobriety

Postby GreatD » Sun Dec 27, 2015 4:27 pm

Wife not making it easy, jumps all down my throat about something not alcohol related then throws the drinking card in my face. I defend myself and well, we didn't like that too much. Not making life very enjoyable today
GreatD
Forums Enthusiast
 
Posts: 34
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 8:18 am

PreviousNext

Return to For the Newcomer

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 7 guests