The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

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bum
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The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by bum »

I feel much better now, its been 2 days since the shaking stopped. I told myself I would never go through it again. I would never binge drink again, but now this is the 4th time this has happened. I can't exactly remember how many days in a row I drank... 4 or 5 usually is what triggers the AWS. If I can just stop after 1 or 2 days I never get AWS. But I wake up and I just want to continue the drinking soooo badly. So off to the liquor store I go to get a 12 pack and 2 shots to start me off.. those 2 shots are gone when I get home. I drink, sit in front of my pc and play warcraft, or watch movies, music and youtube videos and catch me a buzz and then eat. Then I pass out on my bed and wake up around 4 or 5pm... Then I'm dying for more and I'm walking back to the liquor store again. Rinse and repeat....

I try and tell myself I'm just going to drink just one night... starting around 6pm or so.. then have one wake-up-beer in the morning to fend off any hangover effects I might have.. then quit for a few days.. but that next morning is when the craving is the worst... I just wan't the fun to continue, so I convince myself that its just one more day, not enough to get AWS again.... then that turns into 3 days and sometimes more.

I can quit for 4 or 5 days, usually no longer then that. Then one of 2 things happens: (1) The depression and sadness kicks in, and I start to think how easy I could turn that into a great time if I just got some alcohol. (2) I start to feel great and feel normal and I start to think that if I got some alcohol (for just one night of course) then I could turn a great night into a super-great night. And I can easily change from feeling (1) into (2) or back to (1) again within an hour.

So that's my story that I am sure you have heard before. I'm a 45 year old male, heavy drinker for around 15 years.

Oh and Hi to you all, I'm new here :)

Bum
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Hanna
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by Hanna »

Hi and welcome to e-aa. Your day sounds similiar to my old days, as far as thinking the alcohol is going to make things better, it never did. Thankfully I hit bottom and looked for help, the solution is in the steps. I am so happy and relieved that I don't feel the need for alcohol since taking the steps, they do work. Stick around and we will help you with any questions or concerns you may have. I would suggest you read the Big Book, it is available on this site to read, check out the Doctor's Opinion in the first pages of the book, it really helped me understand WHY I kept choosing to drink even when I promised myself I wouldn't.
You never have to feel the horror of AWS again!( I certaintly don't miss those days) Keep posting.
Hanna
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace

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Duke
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by Duke »

Welcome bum.

My experience is that trying to cure alcoholism is like trying to live without eating. You can do it for a while, but sooner or later you'll end up right back where you started.

When I came to the program, I was told the good news and the bad. First, there's no cure. Second, I didn't have to drink again if I didn't want to. All I had to do was embrace the program as if my life depended on it and start working it, one day at a time.

That formula has allowed me to accept and live with my incurable condition for quite a few years now. I know it can for you as well.

Let us know if we can help you in your journey
"If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.", Mother Teresa

2granddaughters

Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by 2granddaughters »

I was 45 when I came to recovery.

This is the treatment for millions of us garden variety alcoholics ; http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf

All the best.

Bob R

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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by Reborn »

Man I can relate to the AWS. I remind myself daily how powerless I am over alcohol and how my last drunk lasted more than a month. I ended up in the hospital with DTs and went through hell for about 5 days. But I'm living proof that a hopeless drunk can find a way to live a happy useful life one day at a time. There is a way out of the insanity of alcoholism and it comes from working the 12 steps. Welcome my friend we're here for you!!
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

bum
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by bum »

Wow 5 days??? wow. I guess I am lucky my AWS lasts just a day and a half... and I don't get the seizures or hallucinations yet.. but that day and a half sucks so bad... I pace back and forth in my room because I can't sit still... I walk around in a circle saying "oh please let this go away!!!, can this just wear off already??!!!" - and they say it gets worse every time.. and they are right.. And I say to myself "If I can just feel normal again I will never ever drink again!!" ... (sigh)

I am off the wagon. Sorry.

I can see now why its so hard to quit... because drinking feels so good. Its not like I am physically addicted to it, but I am addicted to the high. Its no different then then wanting an escape by doing meth or weed or something... (disclaimer: i'm not saying I do those things nor endorse them) ... I just.. want to feel good and escape the pain of life and have pleasure instead. That pretty much sums it up.

AHH the pain of life... something to think about.. Are you more likely to become an alcoholic if you were not dealt a fair hand in life? What if you are not attractive and don't get to have girlfriends/boyfriends, dates and such.... what if you are not very charismatic and just don't make friends very easily? What if you just don't fit in socially and have to live with that pain every day... would you be more likely to become an alcoholic???
This is my signature! Deal with it!... ok.. I just couldn't think of anything cool to put here... give me time...

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Tosh
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by Tosh »

bum wrote: Are you more likely to become an alcoholic if you were not dealt a fair hand in life? What if you are not attractive and don't get to have girlfriends/boyfriends, dates and such.... what if you are not very charismatic and just don't make friends very easily? What if you just don't fit in socially and have to live with that pain every day... would you be more likely to become an alcoholic???
Alcoholics come in all brands of shapes and sizes. I bet we all can name at least three extremely intelligent, talented, beautiful, rich and famous persons who have died from their alcoholism. Alcoholism is no respecter of persons.

And hey, that feeling of 'not fitting in', it's a very common thing to hear about in A.A.. In fact a common phenomena in A.A. is feeling like a misfit amongst a bunch of misfits. Come join us, you'll fit right in. :lol:

I haven't read all the posts, but no doubt members here will have encouraged you to go to some meetings; that'd be some good advice. And we all know going to our first A.A. meeting is often a scary proposition; we know this because we all had to go to our first A.A. meeting, and we too felt scared. But going to my first A.A. meeting was the single best thing I ever did, because it led to my 2nd A.A. meeting and a whole new way of life. That probably sounds a bit weird, but hopefully weird enough for you to go to your first A.A. meeting.

Anyway, glad you're here,

Regards

Tosh
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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ezdzit247
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by ezdzit247 »

bum wrote:
I can see now why its so hard to quit... because drinking feels so good. Its not like I am physically addicted to it, but I am addicted to the high. Its no different then then wanting an escape by doing meth or weed or something... (disclaimer: i'm not saying I do those things nor endorse them) ... I just.. want to feel good and escape the pain of life and have pleasure instead. That pretty much sums it up.
Hi bum and welcome.

AA's Third Tradition (short form) states that the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. There is no rule or requirement that any AA member has to admit or identify themselves as an "alcoholic". All anyone needs to become a member is a DESIRE to stop drinking. Do you have that desire?
bum wrote: AHH the pain of life... something to think about.. Are you more likely to become an alcoholic if you were not dealt a fair hand in life? What if you are not attractive and don't get to have girlfriends/boyfriends, dates and such.... what if you are not very charismatic and just don't make friends very easily? What if you just don't fit in socially and have to live with that pain every day... would you be more likely to become an alcoholic???
There is no such thing as a "fair hand" in life, bum. Everybody gets what they get. It's kind of like poker. Every hand's a winner and every hand's a loser. Win or lose, all outcomes depend on how a person plays the hand he or she is dealt. AA has a simple 12 Step program that teaches drunks how to put the plug in the jug, stay sober, and deal with their issues. It has worked real well for millions of drunks all over the world who got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Are you there yet?

Keep coming back.....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Hanna
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by Hanna »

bum wrote: "I can see now why its so hard to quit... because drinking feels so good. Its not like I am physically addicted to it, but I am addicted to the high. I ... I just.. want to feel good and escape the pain of life and have pleasure instead. That pretty much sums it up.
Copied from the Big Bool,excerpt from the DOCTOR"S OPINION:
"Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again."
There is a solution and it works when you truly work it, get to a meeting and ask for help, I only wish I started long before I did. The steps are the solution, just start at step 1and keep going! "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. .."
Hanna
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace

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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by DrKnipe »

Hey Bum. I am only 5 months sober. I had withdrawal so bad I HAD to seek help at the hospital. That lead to me having to go to a Psych Ward. I tried 100's of times to change my drinking. But in my experience, NO ONE was going to tell me I was an alcoholic. I fought it kicking and screaming. I finally surrendered. BTW I'm a 35 yr old man, family still with me thank God! Take care, Bum. Just know you'd be welcome any time.

bum
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by bum »

Since you brought up the big book I must say that I don't agree with everything in it - religion and any mention of god should have been left out. Whether or not a higher power exists and if that will benefit us in any way has nothing to do with alcoholism.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God


The author of the book was probably a religious man and like many religious people they become consumed by their religion, believing it's the correct one over the other 34,000 christian groups and 270 other major religions that exist in our world and so he felt the need to include that. I wonder if that was the original step that he wrote or did some non-religious person edit it on some future date... hmm...
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by Reborn »

Well have you read the chapter to the agnostics? This is not a religious program but a spiritual one. I'm assuming you don't believe in a higher power? Believe me I know how the word God gives people the willies because it did that to me when I first started. I didn't want anything to do with God, because if there was a God he sure didn't do anything for me. However after sticking around for a while I found my own conception of God and how it relates to me. That's the difference between spiritual and religious...religion will tell you what you must and how you must believe...AA doesn't do that you can choose what your higher power is and it doesn't have to be some preconceived idea. I know how you feel about the God idea because I felt exactly the same way and you will find that most of us have some kind of prejudice against it. But today its different for me...I have faith today...to me faith is not belief without proof but trust without reservation.
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

bum
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by bum »

Ok I must admit, I did not read the whole book. And I DO believe in a higher power.. but I am not convinced that just because a higher power exists that it will benefit humans in some way. It's certainly possible that life is a one time fluke and when we die we just cease to exist for all eternity, in which case, religion just shows how gullible humans are... but its not their fault, we all want the most pleasure out of life that we can get so its no surprise that we all want a pleasurable afterlife.. not everyone gets to have that pretty wife/husband and live in a nice house and have a nice job and great kids etc.. Some of us were not given that hand.

But I believe in a higher power and I also believe in reincarnation.. The odds of any one of us existing is almost zero. The odds of your parents happening to meet and their parents and so forth..and your sperm happened to reach the egg out of the other million..the chance is sooooo incredibly slim that its a miracle that you are even here reading this. I mean, its like we all won the universe lotto. Ok so if thats not true, what else is left... maybe we will live other lives one day... heck maybe I will one day live all your lives.. I can't wait to live the life of Hugh Hefner... that will be a fun life :)
This is my signature! Deal with it!... ok.. I just couldn't think of anything cool to put here... give me time...

Reborn
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by Reborn »

So I'm not sure if you are working the steps or not. I'm going to assume for now that you are not. If that is the case then you may be jumping the gun on this whole higher power thing. The first direction I give new people is to read from the preface to page 164 in the big book. Read it like a novel one page after the other, don't try to psycho analyse it just look for how you relate to what is written. Once that is done then we can have an honest discussion about what is in the book. We alcoholics are complicated people and we like to complicate the shiz out of everything. That is why the steps are laid out the way they are...be where your hands are....and remember to be honest, openminded and willing...there is a quote in the back of the book page 568 "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all argument and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance. That priniciple is contempt prior to investigation."
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

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ezdzit247
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Re: The fun of Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome (noob)

Post by ezdzit247 »

bum wrote:Since you brought up the big book I must say that I don't agree with everything in it - religion and any mention of god should have been left out. Whether or not a higher power exists and if that will benefit us in any way has nothing to do with alcoholism.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God


The author of the book was probably a religious man and like many religious people they become consumed by their religion, believing it's the correct one over the other 34,000 christian groups and 270 other major religions that exist in our world and so he felt the need to include that. I wonder if that was the original step that he wrote or did some non-religious person edit it on some future date... hmm...
Hi again, bum

To clarify, AA is a spiritual program which has no religious dogma. It does presume the existence of a supreme being, i.e. God, and it does presume that this entity is loving, but AA is not allied with any religious sect, denomination or organization and the BB doesn't try to instruct anyone on any religious concept of God nor do AA members in meetings. The Big Book says God as YOU understand God. That term was introduced to the fellowship by one of the original founding members of AA, an atheist named Jim Burrell. That concept makes AA an inclusive program for all alcoholics of all religious beliefs--atheists, agnostics, Sikhs, Hindu, Buddhists, Christens, Jews, Muslims, deists, pantheists, pagans, etc. It's okay to be against religion, but in AA that's an "outside issue", like politics.

On page 164 of the AA Big Book it says:
"Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little...."
I was an atheist when I first came to AA. In meetings I was told to take what I needed and leave the rest regarding the program and what other AA members shared about their experience, hope, and strength. That worked for me.

Keep coming back....
“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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