Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

New to AA? Got questions? Here's the place to ask. Note that no one person speaks "officially" for AA. AA meetings in your local area are always the best source of information. Note that anyone may post and reply to messages in this forum.
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whenley68
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Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by whenley68 »

Ok, so I have read and listened and watched some AA things and there seems to be a united message concerning "sponsors"??? What are the fee's for this kind of service; by the hour, half hour? Skype or phone? Age apropriate/similar ages? Just message me. Thanks
Life is what you make it. Be on the winning side of things.

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Brock
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Re: Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by Brock »

AA is free, all of it, meetings sponsors everything, meetings pass a “hat” to cover rent and coffee but contributions are voluntary, nobody looks down on those who can’t afford a dollar or two to put in. If you go to aa.org there are a list of leaflets available including one on sponsorship, this will answer your questions. Maybe someone will come along and spoon feed you the answers, I believe sometimes you need to help yourself.

Can I also ask you whenley, the photo you have included if that is one of you will you please consider taking it down, this is against the traditions and the forum guidelines. Also, some folks find the use of obscene language offensive, would you consider changing the wording in your location.
"Good morning, this is your Higher Power speaking. I will not be needing your help today."

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whenley68
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Re: Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by whenley68 »

Dang, sorry Brock, I must not have read that. I will ask forgiveness on the photo and the state of Misery I live in.
Life is what you make it. Be on the winning side of things.

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whenley68
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Re: Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by whenley68 »

Brock wrote:Maybe someone will come along and spoon feed you the answers, I believe sometimes you need to help yourself.
That seriously comes across as being pretty pompous. Thanks, and you should keep coming back buddy, perhaps you will develop a better personality.

Oh, let me edit this. I believe by asking questions and speaking to be much weightier than "being spoonfed". But allow me to apologize, my telekinetic abilities began failing some time ago, so I have had to go back to a more primitive way of communicating.
Life is what you make it. Be on the winning side of things.

Reborn
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Re: Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by Reborn »

I think the reason you see Brock's response as being pompous is that you are new to this sobriety thing. I remember being new and the oldtimers used to piss me off too. But as time goes on you will grow to understand that the things the oldtimers say are not because they lack personality or that they are just trying to be cruel, but trying to break through the giant ego that each alcoholic has. I'm really glad you are here brother I hope you stick around...the 12 steps are the real business!!
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

Lali
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Re: Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by Lali »

whenley68 wrote:
Brock wrote:Maybe someone will come along and spoon feed you the answers, I believe sometimes you need to help yourself.
That seriously comes across as being pretty pompous. Thanks, and you should keep coming back buddy, perhaps you will develop a better personality.

Oh, let me edit this. I believe by asking questions and speaking to be much weightier than "being spoonfed". But allow me to apologize, my telekinetic abilities began failing some time ago, so I have had to go back to a more primitive way of communicating.
You don't have to have "telekinetic abilities" to get the answers you seek. The kind people here are trying to give you the answers and yet you aren't acting on this good advice. You don't have to stay in self-imposed misery. (Misery was your word.) What you call pompous is really just a form of tough love. Sometimes it is necessary in order to get a point across to those who need assistance with their problem with alcohol. Actually, what we have is a living problem and alcoholism is just a symptom of that.

In answer to your question about sponsors, the best way to find one is to go to meetings and you will likely find a suitable sponsor there. There are online sponsors as well and I apologize, but I do not know the link. Someone here will provide it for you if that is what you want.

As for white-knuckling, to me that just seems like self torture. Life does not have to be that way.
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

kenyal
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Re: Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by kenyal »

You may find yourself drawn to a few sober guys when you're active in meetings. Attracted by what they may say about their sober life. I'm of the opinion that watching people for a while is a good idea before selecting a man to ask directly for his help. Because many of us get along by our cunning while drinking, we can talk a good line...which doesn't always translate into having something going for ourselves.

If you select a few convenient meetings and attend for a couple of weeks you'll soon recognize who is showing up regularly and has the respect of other members. If they refer to sponsorship and their experience in taking the steps, have been living sober a while and seem to understand where the answers in AA can be found, then imo they are worth your consideration. Probably is best if they are not your clone as far as their drinking history, employment and general beliefs. You're not interested in changing those things, so they are moot. If the guy has a sense of humor and is easy to talk with, those are plus points.

Good fishin'.

desypete
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Re: Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by desypete »

whenley68 wrote:Ok, so I have read and listened and watched some AA things and there seems to be a united message concerning "sponsors"??? What are the fee's for this kind of service; by the hour, half hour? Skype or phone? Age apropriate/similar ages? Just message me. Thanks
sorry i nearly fell off my chair laughing at this post

the fees are free my friend, everything in aa is free,
the only money we have between us is what we collect in meetings when we pass the pot around the room in an aa meeting, people can put anything they want in and if they have no money that is ok they dont have to put anything in. the books on sale are paid for by memebers who might need them, but very often there given away free to new comers who might have no money etc

the money we collect in the pot is used to pay for the rent of the building the tea and coffee which are given away free in the meetings and biscuits, any surplus money goes further up the chain like to intergroup and then into the aa coffers at gso but the money goes out to pay for things like the telephone service and in areas like the prisons were we supply books free to inmates or in hospitals etc it really is a well run organization but run by people like you and me, we have no bosses in aa only trusted servents who do not try to govern us in any way shape or form

people give there time for free in aa to help run the meetings and much more besides like sponsorship.

i know in this day and age it seems impossible to belive anything in life is free so there must be some sort of catch to aa ?

well there isnt, people can come an go as they please, there are no rules, no membership fees, you dont even have to use your real name nor do you have to comform to anything nor believe in anything.

aa has survived for 80 years and grown to be world wide and yet its totally free its amazing but its just proof of how many people come to aa get sober in aa and stick around in aa to make sure its there for the next person who comes along who might need our help they give back freely as there way to repay what was given to them freely when they were in need

good luck to you

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johnd
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Re: Male Sponsor Needed, Apply Within

Post by johnd »

Welcome Aboard whenley,
I thought pretty much the same thing about sponsors. What do they want out of it? They want sobriety just as you do. No fees or dues for AA membership.. We help each other. A sponsor is a person who was once like you "NEW" and had to learn how to live for one day without a drink... How far are you willing to go to get sober and stay sober??? That was what was asked of me from my sponsor. Yes it was scary to actually ask someone to help you and that is what a sponsor will do. But ,You have to help yourself and be willing to work the steps and apply them in your life. Your life will change and you have answers to how to live without a drink a drug or a subsitute and possibly share with someone who will be as new as you are right now.

Please Keep coming in spite of yourself and others. Good Luck John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

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