i'm new and need advice

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AliBear84
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Joined: Thu May 28, 2015 10:48 am

i'm new and need advice

Post by AliBear84 »

Hi guys, probably going to start with a bit of background so you know what I've done and what I've f#cked up and hopefully somebody has been through something similar as I'm in such a dark place at the minute...
I had the girl of my dreams for the last 3 years but instead of being happy and taking my night time over-drinking out of my life I got comfortable and got worse with drinking.. I caused so many arguments because I was drunk/hungover and trying to hide it...
We ultimately broke up as we had an argument one night when I was drunk, she slapped me and I hurt her back.. I'm so ashamed of this but I just can't get over what I've done... Sober I'm the softest guy in the world but while drunk that night I turned into a monster..
I know I can never get her back but has anybody ever been in this or a similar situation before? I've lost my fiancee, almost all my friends and just don't know how to get up and carry on in the morning... If anyone could help I'd really appreciate it, I'm such a nice guy sober so I need to get past this and change my life for the better..

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PaigeB
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Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:28 pm
Location: Iowa USA

Re: i'm new and need advice

Post by PaigeB »

This program gives a "profound alteration in our reactions to life". I may not have done exactly what you did, but you can surely bet if you hurt me, I'd hurt you back! In fact, I found if I thought you didn't like me, I'd hurt you first! I do not react that way so often anymore. Sometimes I might chose to act that way, but now I have positive proof that I have a choice.

I have seen with my own life that this program works in tough going. I hope that you stick around e-aa and the table of your local AA community. Don't leave before the miracles happen!

(Let me know what city you are in and I will help you find your local AA. Just click on my name and it will take you to my profile where you can click on a link to send me a private message)
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

Reborn
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Re: i'm new and need advice

Post by Reborn »

Hello AliBear and welcome. I have had similar situations with women in my life and friends. I did some incredibly terrible things while drinking and remember feeling exactly the way you do at this moment. My first suggestion is to get a Big Book and read the first 164 pages and look for the similarities. It talks about alcoholism and why we do what we do. Those terrible things we all do while drinking are part of the disease of alcoholism. There is absolutly nothing you can do to change the past but you can make a decision right now to change your life if you are willing to do a few simple things. Those simple things are the 12 steps and I'm telling you if you do this stuff those terrible things you did while drinking will become your greatest assets. Every time I would get into morbid reflection of the past my sponsor would simply say "Put away the ass kicking stick and get to work."
We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others. BB pg 132

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PaigeB
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Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:28 pm
Location: Iowa USA

Re: i'm new and need advice

Post by PaigeB »

"Put away the ass kicking stick and get to work."
I am going to borrow this one and pass it on!
Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have - the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. page 124 BB

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johnd
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Location: Massachusetts

Re: i'm new and need advice

Post by johnd »

Hi Alibear and Welcome to e-aa,
Thank you for reminding me about what may happen if I was to pick up a drink. I made similar mistakes at the age of 21 while drinking. When I became sober and put some time together I was able to take a good look at myself and able to see why I did the things I would never do sober. Alcohol is a cunning, baffling. insidious disease. Once I put alcohol into my system I can be assured that all bets are off... The guilt and humiliation you are feeling is one I have felt many times over... I wanted everyone to be the way I wanted. I wanted them to like me .. I wanted them to drink like me. and so on. The problem was me.. Every time I drank people would slowly get away from me. Sober everyone wants to be around me... Strange huh... Alcohol had been calling the shots.. I had no control whenever alcohol was available to me. None! If you feel you have had enough then you have come to the right place. So please give yourself a break and try not to wallow too much about what happened... I believe things happen for a reason. Let this be your chance to start over and gain your life and your dignity back.... Good Luck. Hope to see more from you. and hear about your progress...
John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

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