Day #1

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Re: Day #1

Postby Brock » Sat Apr 04, 2015 8:51 am

I have been following this and just sort of saying hi to Edward. I would mention that apart from the link avaneesh gave, just Goggling AA Big Book would give other options, also 12 & 12, lots of stuff available free. Also the same speakers you find on XA you will get on YT, which I think is easier to use. Of the workshops which were mentioned “Joe and Charlie journey through the big book,” is probably the best known, Chris R also has big book tapes and a hard hitting style you might relate to.
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Re: Day #1

Postby maurits » Sat Apr 04, 2015 5:40 pm

edwardn wrote:
...the 10 year slip brought me to where I am today...



thank you all for sharing
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Re: Day #1

Postby edwardn » Sun Apr 05, 2015 8:53 am

Good Morning Every one

I read Chapter 5 How it works last night, I have read that chapter dozens of times in the past before I went back out drinking but last night was different, I was stunned and didnt know whether to laugh or cry... It was as if I were reading it for the first time ever because I actually felt what the words were saying, I had just lived years through them and they described me to the letter, it was almost an eerie feeling as if someone were spying on me, watching my every move and taking notes... but these words were written well before I was born so that is impossible but it does go to prove to me that I suffer from the same self will run riot the first 100 did... I wrote a long email to my old sponsor last night and let him what happened and whats going on and is very supportive of me and will do what he can to help until I get home and get to some meetings with him... I feel alot better now after talking to him and feeling his support.

avaneesh912, thanks you for your words and link, I bookmarked that page and used it last night
Brock, thank you and Hi to you as well, I will google and find the speakers you mention
Thank you too Maurits, its good to hear from you.
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Re: Day #1

Postby PaigeB » Sun Apr 05, 2015 12:41 pm

Good stuff Ed! Glad you found us here and found the strength to contact your old sponsor! Keep up the work... This works IF you work it!

Keep coming - we'll be here. And reach out to the newcomers if you can... they are now newer than you!
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Re: Day #1

Postby ann2 » Mon Apr 06, 2015 1:32 am

Hi Ed, nice to meet you, welcome!

I just wanted to say that I am an American ex-patriate living in Sweden and e-AA has become my home group. I come online here throughout the day (except for this weekend when I was outside all the time and avoiding the computer) and touch base with my fellow group members, get a shot of inspiritaion, and remember that there's more than me and my ego in this world!!

Thanks so much for showing up. I hope you keep coming back!

Ann
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Re: Day #1

Postby edwardn » Mon Apr 06, 2015 9:18 am

Thank you Paige for being here and I will take your advice as well
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Re: Day #1

Postby edwardn » Mon Apr 06, 2015 9:25 am

Hi Ann2

Nice to meet you too, I am a Canadian working in Mexico so The e-AA Group is a life line for me. I woke up feeling grumpy this morning but have since turned it over to my HP, along with that doing some reading in the forum and my mood has since done a complete turn around... it is an amazing experience and program.

Sincerely
Edd
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Re: Day #1

Postby maurits » Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:49 pm

edwardn wrote:...doing some reading in the forum and my mood has since done a complete turn around...

edwardn wrote:Thank you too Maurits, its good to hear from you.

Thank you Edd, my mood usually turns around too just by doing some reading here (today's spiritual nourishment) :-)
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Re: Day #1

Postby JD343 » Tue Apr 07, 2015 4:37 am

"Cunning, baffling, powerful"...

I too though I could enjoy and control my drinking... and like you, most of the time stayed "out of trouble". However, drinking just became NO FUN anymore... I could not live with it, or without it... until I found AA. Glad you are back.

JD
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Re: Day #1

Postby edwardn » Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:13 am

Thank You Maurits, I like these words (today's spiritual nourishment) and will remember them.

Welcome JD, Im glad I am back and I am glad you and everyone else are here, I didnt drink everyday, I didnt get drunk every time I drank, I didnt do stupid things to hurt myself or others every time I got drunk, but sometimes I did. I could never control how much I drank after I drank the first one, it was anyone's guess and the only way to take the guess work out was to not drink the first one, sounds simple enough but my mind kept telling me otherwise saying it was ok ( obsession ) but to just be more careful the next time but the next time the ( Craving ) kicked in after the first drink and vicious cycle repeated itself with an unknown ending as I mentioned above. I wish I could drink like a normal person but I cant because my body has a different reaction to alcohol in that I have no control over it or the amount I need once I take that first drink.
Cheers
Edd
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Re: Day #1

Postby PaigeB » Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:41 am

If I could drink like a normal person, I'd be drunk everyday!

Wait. That is not how a normal person thinks!
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Re: Day #1

Postby edwardn » Tue Apr 07, 2015 12:29 pm

PaigeB wrote:If I could drink like a normal person, I'd be drunk everyday!

Wait. That is not how a normal person thinks!


Now thats funny, thanks for the good laugh... :lol:
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Re: Day #1

Postby edwardn » Sun May 03, 2015 9:09 am

Hi To all

Ive been sober 4 weeks now and every day seems to be getting better, the obsession has reared its ugly head from time to time but I pray to my HP to remove these thoughts and it really works which for me being agnostic is a game changer.I used to have a problem even saying the word "pray" let alone actually doing it but today is different for some reason and I think that reason is how I feel inside after I do it... its as if a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Resentments seem to be my Achilles heel, they are my soft spot in sobriety and I am constantly catching myself drifting off and digging them up so I also pray for my HP to remove them and also for the people I have the resentments against... it works but like praying for sobriety every day I also have to pray every day to rid myself of these resentments... its a magical feeling when they are gone but its not a magical trick in that "poof" they are gone forever in a puff of smoke... praying is just something I had to learn to do to get through each and every day.

Have a great day
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Re: Day #1

Postby PaigeB » Sun May 03, 2015 12:35 pm

Good to see you Ed! Glad you are hanging in there and sounds like you & I might have something in common. We feel better when we have regular contact with e-aa! I come here everyday and it helps. Granted, there are days I come and I still have a rough ride. But for the most part I can remember that we all have the same type of problems and we can agree on a solution.

Come visit us in the Daily Reflections threads. Come often - come Daily. It changed my life to maintain this daily contact.
If I'm not able to say how I'm working my program today, then I'm not working my program.
The e-AA Group's 7th Tradition link: www.e-aa.org/group_seventh.php
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Re: Day #1

Postby edwardn » Sun May 03, 2015 6:57 pm

Hi Paige
Good to hear from you and agree that coming here to e-aa sure helps, this site and the people on it along with emails from my sponsor are the only aa contact I have so both are critical to me. Thanks for the tip about the DR thread, I found it and did some reading today... really good stuff in there so I will make a point of joining in as often as possible. I think we do have something in common and just re-read chapter 4 We Agnostics again tonight and have to hand it to the first 100 in covering all the bases, with almost half of them being atheist or agnostic it is no wonder they dedicated an entire chapter of the BB to this subject.

Have a great evening

Edd
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