Trying to be rational.

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Re: Trying to be rational.

Postby Tinker » Wed Jun 19, 2002 3:02 pm

Every Journey begins with the first step. I remember waking up my eyes popping open , everything around me in shambles and everyone gone. Then slowly things came out...I was a brown out drinker , remember some things not others. Sometimes wishing I remembered nothing. That next day feeling of remorse. The problem was I could always stop drinking it was staying stopped that was the problem. As soon as the fog cleared, the hubby was back, or the fines and classes done that remorse was a thing of the past. I have no mental defense against that first drink.<P>The meetings are the fellowship, you do not have to win any popularity contests or even like the people. It is a stepping stone. Recovery is in the 12 steps. I would suggest getting to a meeting, ask someone for a pamphlet on sponsorship and then keep coming back. When the student is ready the teacher shall appear. One day and one step at a time. If you try to take in to much right now you can set yourself up for another relapse. First things first. Maybe read the first 164 pages or the Big Book and some of the stories when you have some down time. If we dont try we dont get results. Welcome and thanks for your honesty. I related so much.
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Re: Trying to be rational.

Postby Blue Moon » Wed Jun 19, 2002 3:53 pm

Hi, welcome to the land of the free. Free from booze, at least.<P>Self-knowledge alone is insufficient to stave off that first drink. When a hangover was prevalent, I would swear off booze making promises to myself in the process. When I drank, I knew what the outcome would be.<P>So why drink? Isn't it insane to drink when knowing the consequences? My problem is not an alcohol problem, it's a life problem. I couldn't cope with life, so had to drink. I got, and so far have kept, recovery from my problem by working the program and active participation in the AA fellowship. It's not easy, but the rewards are worth the efforts - today I seem remarkably able to cope with life on life's terms.
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Re: Trying to be rational.

Postby Leonard(o), Puerto Rico » Wed Jun 19, 2002 8:11 pm

Hi....at the end of my drinking (age 35) I couldn't stop drinking and I still functioned pretty well. I made the most money I ever made, lived in a great house, had plenty of stuff...but then, I had ME. That was the final thing. This person, Me, that was so sick to death of 17 years of drinking and abusing and always TRYING so HARD! Trying so hard to "feel normal" and " be regular." <P>You are lucky the persons name was written on your arm....I found a couple strangers that were "shocking examples" of my tastelevel IN MY BED! Quite alarming if, like me, you think you are in full control of this very "intimate" situation!<P>I went to AA. A friend told me I would drink if I didn't....so, I did. I hated it for a very long time (some nerve, they were saving my life)...but then, PRESTO/CHANGEO...I got it! Happy, Joyeous and Free beats the heck out of Despair, Self-loathing and FEAR (not to mention unexpected breakfast guests)!<P>You can do it. Find some meetings around your life....forget what the AA folks look like...just listen really good, and then tell them your truth(s) too.<P>Just a suggestion. Yours in AA, Len
Unfortunately, logic and reason have no impact on prejudice, bigotry, fear, and hate.
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