Blessings and curses

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shaunagus
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Blessings and curses

Post by shaunagus »

Hi there.

One of the great things about my job - amazing actually - is I get to do a fair amount of European travel. I love this, it's an ambition come true. And it's all expenses, rarely costs me anything (alcohol included).

Alcohol has always played a central role in this part of the job. With each new trip or partnership it's been one of the highlights for me. And the relationships I've made along the way have been cemented by it, in fact if I wasn't such a heavy drinker I don't think I'd have forged such deep relationships with colleagues and been part of so many European projects.

So here I am just over three weeks sober in an airport hotel en route to Czech Republic having just had a sober dinner with colleagues. I didn't crack a joke, my conversation was dull, stilted. And I am facing four more nights of this and I have to form
new relationships with our Czech partners --and I need to do it sober now. And I don't know how to.

I am feeling paranoid, like the co-ordinator already has decided she no longer likes me. Like its going to be a hellish trip where I will alienate everyone. I don't want a drink but I just don't know how to be sober in this environment. I've only learned how to do European projects pissed.

On top of that in have been really ill and missed most of my AA Meetings this week and now won't get to another one til Thursday. There are no English AA meetings where I am going and even of there were there is no "free time" (even the drinking is done on the clock as it were).

Anyways I thought I would reach out, see if anyone has any suggestions or experience of similar.

Thanks for reading.

Shaun.

TonyWARMS
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by TonyWARMS »

Hi, shaun
Were you always like that?
I used to worry that I owed any trace of personality i had to being high.
Because, clearly, I had nothing to offer otherwise.
Until, I decided to go back through my life, and remember how to be a person who wasn't just wasted all the time, all still be interesting, and engaging.
And, damn! He was still there, just kind of waiting for me to bring him back into the game.
You never know until you give it a try.

Peace, and Good Luck
Tony

P.S. Pay attention to how your clients behave after a few, and you will understand that going back isn't as much fun as you might think. :lol:
"Nothing comes to stay. Everything comes to pass".
(I don't know where I heard this)

Lali
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by Lali »

Congrats on having a job you love! May I ask how much sobriety you have?
Step 1: I can't
Step 2: He can
Step 3: I think I'll let him

maurits
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by maurits »

dear fellows,


indeed, care and vigilance, especially when i'm abroad for business in places where alcohol used to play a central role in the past,


just recently i received a very unusual e-mail from a stakeholder,

he appreciated our calm conversation and mutual understanding,

which is funny and amazing, since i hardly communicated verbally that day!


fortunately, my higher power still guides me, step by step, one day at a time,


thank you all for sharing experience, strength and hope,

stay safe and connected,


kind regards,

maurits
Last edited by maurits on Tue Oct 15, 2013 3:16 am, edited 2 times in total.

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ann2
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by ann2 »

Maybe you're sober today because your higher power has a special use for you out on your travels.

I like to think my sobriety is more important than my work or my comfort, and not just for myself, but for anyone I come in contact with, it makes dealing with my non-propped-up personality easier :-)

You know what? Living as a real human being, with the same limitations and occasional down tomes as others, is character-building. And as for business results, sometimes we have to let go and let things develop on their own.

Use your talents . . . They are probably eager to come forward, no longer repressed by alcohol.

Glad you're here!

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

kenyal
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by kenyal »

Hi Shaun, welcome here. I travelled a fair amount too. Did it sober as I didn't like the negatives drinking always held for me over the long run.

It took some enthusiasm to pretend to find interesting those customers who were imbibing a lot. But. it's a talent one can develop over time.

It's not a bad practice to call and touch base with your sober friends back home when convenient if there's no meetings available where you are. Often I was months between English speaking meetings and got by on reading, prayer and meditation, and communicating online with others like myself. If I stayed willing to go when I could it seemed to be alright when I could not.

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ann2
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by ann2 »

By the way maurits welcome! Thanks for joining us and sharing, great to have you here!

Ann
"If I don't take twenty walks, Billy Beane send me to Mexico" -- Miguel Tejada

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avaneesh912
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by avaneesh912 »

So here I am just over three weeks sober in an airport hotel en route to Czech Republic having just had a sober dinner with colleagues. I didn't crack a joke, my conversation was dull, stilted. And I am facing four more nights of this and I have to form

Shaun,
Maybe you need to take sometime off from these trips. They say we need to put our recovery first. Having said that, you have been in AA for 3 weeks, have you thought of considering the 12 steps. Perhaps not, you probably are going to meetings where they insist upon you going to 90 more meetings. The true solution of AA is to work the 12 steps and have a spiritual awakening. AND then you get to practice those principles in ALL in your affairs. People got well in early days of AA outside the meetings and then they were inducted into meetings. But times have slowly changed. We let the real alcoholic suffer and don't give them the correct solution right-away.
Show him the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism.(Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 92)

Mike O
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by Mike O »

Hi shaunagus,

Well done on the three weeks.
:D

The 12 steps showed me, and continue to show me daily, how to live my life sober. I believe they'll do exactly the same for you. You CAN work the steps as you travel. It's not absolutely necessary to have a sponsor helping you every step of the way.

Don't just depend on meetings alone.

Many in today's A.A. think that the 12 steps are a method for getting sober, period - they're not. You can do this by simply stopping drinking. The steps show you how to want to stay stopped. They are, indeed, a design for living.

If you really want to deal with life soberly, you will have to do the steps - at least, that's what I found.

-Mike

shaunagus
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by shaunagus »

Thanks everyone for your replies.

Am just finishing the day sober. Have been up since 4am for the flight and we were met at the airport and taken straight to meetings where we spent the day and then ended up at a Chinese restaurant and its now 9pm local time.

No one has mentioned my not drinking (one person did, in passing, fleetingly). And at the restaurant no one had more than one drink and half of us only had soft drinks. If I had been drinking today I would have been panicking trying to work out who to badger to stay up drinking or wondering if I could sneak back to the bar now everyone is having an early night. It's nice not to be that way.

But I do find the longer I am between meetings the less I want to attend my next one and I agree getting a sponsor and working the steps is the only thing that's going to keep me wanting sobriety and remove the quiet voice that's always way whispering about a drink, I just find trying to choose who to ask and then ask them agonising. But I need to prioritise this when I get back.

I wasn't the life and soul tonight and found my ego as play trying to put people right on a few work things but caught myself and stopped myself (ego is a trigger for me).

It's been a real boon hearing my phone go off in my pocket knowing that people were posting replied that I could read this evening to seriously all thanks so much. Here is to another 24 hours.


Shaun

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Roberth
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Re: Blessings and curses

Post by Roberth »

Hello shaunagus and welcome to E-AA. Could it be you might be expecting a little too much a little too soon. Things were never the same for me after I stopped. Looking back at it I am glad they weren’t. My old ways have always led me to a drink. I had to learn a new way of doing things. The new ways were clumpy and awkward until I got use to them. I can tell you this for me it was worth going through it. I get to see a lot more when I travel on business or pleasure.
Robert
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in pretty, well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming WOW What a ride!!!!

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