Can't Stop

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Can't Stop

Post by Fenix03 »

I can't stop drinking. I can't imagine life without drinking. I can go a day or two without drinking but I cave in over and over. I need some hope here. Or some advice.

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Re: Can't Stop

Post by becksdad »

Hi fenix, welcome here! My name is Ed, and I am an alcoholic. Call AA.... the local number will be in the phone book, or you can find it on the web. There is even a link on this site to find AA meetings anywhere. Get to meetings, meet sober drunks, and do what they do - work this program.!

And come back here and share with us your experience, strength, and hope. You don't have to drink one day at a time if you work this program.

Hope to see ya around here!


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Re: Can't Stop

Post by kenyal »

It's a struggle to get our minds around what is clear to everyone close to us but what we often blind ourselves to for years, sometimes for our entire lives.

The stuggle starts to lessen when we get it that we are alcoholics and start to find out what that means, instead of what we may believe it to mean. That I drank not for the simple pleasure that normal drinkers enjoy from alcohol, that we have different reactions to the same substance was a new idea. That all those times when I'd firmly decided I was done with it but was not done with it could be explained in a way that made sense from my own experience was eye-opening.

That the mistaken way I envisioned life without alcohol was only a mechanism to continue my drinking surprised me. My alcoholism in various ways conspired against my will and countered my acting for my own good. Those episodes of not drinking for a few weeks or few months changed nothing.

Some of what I learned was hard to accept as so, because it was neither comfortable or preferable. I wanted some easy fix that would allow me to finesse what had destroyed lives of those like me throughout human history.

You can begin to heal and live well. Alcohol must not be a part of your life to allow that to happen, so it needs to go before you begin to recover. You'll have some bad days shaking it, and that's best done among people who went through the same thing and understand what you are going through. Being understood is so different than being judged or advised or scolded.

Find your nearest local meeting by calling the 24 hour AA line. Consider calling and making an appointment for a ride with a member. Open your door when he shows (assuming here you are male, otherwise it will be a woman). If you go there on your own show up early and shake some hands and let them know you're new and don't want to drink.

You'll be welcomed and cared for because each person there had the problem and the feelings you have now. Knowing how we felt then makes us want to help you now. If you come along and get better you'll not forget how you feel today, and you will do what you can when you see someone hurting the same way. It's why we do what we do.

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Re: Can't Stop

Post by johnd »

Welcome Fenix,
You stated you can go a day or 2 without drinking. When you get say to the 3rd day say a simple prayer for yourself'
that goes something like- God or whoever is there Just for today let me not take a drink, Please if it be your will not mine,
Start saying it everday get in touch with AA in your area and go and listen and learn. We just don't drink for one day.
We keep it that simple. So the help is there you just have to reach out and apply yourself. Keep Coming John D.
Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans- Anonymous

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Re: Can't Stop

Post by Tosh »

If stopping and staying stopped was easy, there'd be no need for A.A.. Many folk, including myself, stop with the help of A.A..

If you look at the the first step in the 12 Step program... "We were powerless over alcohol...", notice the very first word "We"!

We can do this thing together, I couldn't do it by myself. My suggestion is to get to a bunch of A.A. meetings and to start finding out what we're about.
Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. Come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again, come, come.” Rumi (No sniggering from the sex addicts)

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Re: Can't Stop

Post by JohnElkRiver »

Welcome to e-AA. If you find you cannot stop drinking when you want to then you are probably one of us. But the good news is we have found a way out.

What others have said is correct. Call AA, find a meeting near you and just show up and listen. Then find a sponsor and begin working the steps to find freedom.
The passage below is from the book Alcoholics Anonymous in a part called The Doctors Opinion. Your comment about not imaginging live without Alcohol reminded me of it. I too thought in a similar way. Now I cannot imagine life drinking again.

From The Doctors Opinion:

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.

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Re: Can't Stop

Post by Texan »

Hi Fenix. I'm glad you're here.

I was asking myself that same question a little over 10 months ago myself. How could I EVER have fun without alcohol being a part of the situation? What would I do with myself? I could not see myself sitting around a campfire without a toddy in my hand. Nor could I see myself fishing without beer. Duck hunting without a bloody Mary. The holidays without spirits. New Years Eve without champagne. I proved myself wrong, thankfully, this past several months having more fun than the law allows all without alcohol!

If you can make it a couple of days without, you can go the distance, one day at a time. The folks here and at meeting can help. They helped me. They can help you too, and are most willing. We stay happily, joyfully sober helping others like you!

Make the call, find the meetings, find the help and the hope. Because there is hope. I didn't believe there could be hope for me. I had all but given up hope. Boy was I wrong. Keep drinking and you'll have much to lose. Find the help and hope, and you'll have so much more to gain.

I hope to see more of you here. We all do.

Bill aka Texan
Keep on Keeping on, One Day at a Time.

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Re: Can't Stop

Post by Marc L »

Hi Phoenix;
I'm Marc and I'm a Drunk.
Years ago I could not stop either so I crashed and burned and landed in a scrap heap. Well, that is what it felt like anyway. :D
So I read AA Litterature(BigBook/12&12), went to lots of meetings and interacted with other Drunks. As time passed, slowly but surely, I crawled out of the rubble and began recovery.
Today I feel much better since I don't get trashed and pass out anymore.

Recovery won't just happen by Osmosis. You gonna' have to work at it some.
12th Step work ain't just a job... It's an Adventure.

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Re: Can't Stop

Post by Marine28 »

Hey there fenix. I felt the same way as you and eventually ended up with a DUI. I kept on thinking that I could "control" my drinking so I could still enjoy a wine with dinner, trips to the wine country, etc. I found AA, both F2F meetings and these forums to be just what I need(ed). You just have to do it one day at a time. Give it a try. It does work.

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Re: Can't Stop

Post by MyNameisVictor »

Fenix03 wrote:I can't stop drinking. I can't imagine life without drinking. I can go a day or two without drinking but I cave in over and over. I need some hope here. Or some advice.
Congratulations, Fenix, that one line you wrote may be the most important thing you've ever written in your life. My name is Victor and I'm an alcoholic. I, like all of the folks on this site found ourselves in the exact same situation you are in now. It's called "powerlessness," and it's described in the first step of the AA program, and it takes a lot to admit that. The fact that you have is a huge first step in your potential recovery. It means that you've moved past the denial stage. For us alcoholics, denial is a huge and incredibly powerful thing to overcome. I myself am a doctor, and I thought doctors were lying to me when they told me my liver enzymes were so high that if I kept on drinking it was going to kill me sooner rather than later. That's how powerful our denial can be, so for you to overcome that and admit what you did in your post is gigantic.

I myself was drinking about a quart of vodka per day at the end of my drinking days. Like you, I couldn't even conceive a life without drinking. AA taught that I don't have to comprehend not drinking for the rest of my life, all I have to do is figure out how to not drink today. I went to rehab, where I was detoxed from alcohol. You might want to see a doctor to see if you need to be medically detoxed from alcohol.

Anyway, I can't really describe the entire program to you, but I will give you one word: hope. That's it. Your situation is not hopeless. Of course, the disease of addiction wants you to believe that it is. It's not. All I can suggest to you is to go to the home page ( and look up meeting times and places near you. GET TO A MEETING. Don't delay, don't make excuses, just get to a meeting. Share what you just shared in this forum, and listen to what people have to say when they come up to you after the meeting. Get phone numbers and use them. You'll be okay.

Remember, your story is neither strange nor unique. There are millions of people who are in recovery. I haven't had a drink in almost nine years now, and my life is infinitely better today because of this program. This can work for you too, my friend. Just get to a meeting and talk to people and listen.

God bless and keep coming back, especially to this forum. We need to hear people like you, and we need to hear the progress you are making.

"They said a miracle would happen on my 90th day of sobriety, and it did happen...I was sober."
-Anonymous from the Trinity Group of AA in NYC

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