Search found 16 matches

by stella1976
Wed Mar 14, 2018 6:12 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

You know just because we are sober doesn't mean we are ALL angels with wings! I made this pact with myself 30 years ago after a good burn from some nit-wit I worked with and I gave him money and in return they'd pay me back. You can figure how it ended..... A grand in my opinion is not a lite reque...
by stella1976
Wed Mar 14, 2018 12:19 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

You know just because we are sober doesn't mean we are ALL angels with wings! I made this pact with myself 30 years ago after a good burn from some nit-wit I worked with and I gave him money and in return they'd pay me back. You can figure how it ended..... A grand in my opinion is not a lite reque...
by stella1976
Tue Mar 13, 2018 6:15 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

Your post goes on quite a bit about your appearance and what you perceive others think of you. I relate to you a lot. In fact, the women who judge you are probably new to AA and still spend an awful lot of time judging themselves. They probably spend very little time thinking about you, they're sel...
by stella1976
Wed Jan 03, 2018 5:09 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

Your post goes on quite a bit about your appearance and what you perceive others think of you. I relate to you a lot. In fact, the women who judge you are probably new to AA and still spend an awful lot of time judging themselves. They probably spend very little time thinking about you, they're sel...
by stella1976
Fri Dec 29, 2017 4:45 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

Congratulations OP, you've been groomed. You've traded true sobriety through reliance on a higher power, for the dopamine hit you get when someone rubs on you. How on earth can you objectively do the steps when loaded up with feel good brain chemicals; and I assure you, thats all this is. (Yes, I h...
by stella1976
Fri Dec 29, 2017 2:58 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

Congratulations OP, you've been groomed. You've traded true sobriety through reliance on a higher power, for the dopamine hit you get when someone rubs on you. How on earth can you objectively do the steps when loaded up with feel good brain chemicals; and I assure you, thats all this is. (Yes, I h...
by stella1976
Wed Dec 20, 2017 5:23 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

I am so glad that you are finding peace in AA and want to continue to attend meetings. What I am going to suggest has helped me to address concerns such as yours in an open and cathartic way: Bring it up in the meeting. Bring it up as your topic, because it is affecting/concerning your sobriety. Yo...
by stella1976
Wed Nov 29, 2017 6:02 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

I am already seeing some positive changes in my life.I now no long wake up feeling like crap, I am not yelling at my daughter, small things are minor now and not blown out of proportion. I feel like I am actually caring about people more too.The mood lability. Feel good. Feel bad. Up. Down. Laugh. ...
by stella1976
Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:47 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

Hi Stella, If that was happening to me, I would ask if I could speak to her alone for a moment and pull her off to the side. I would thank her for how welcome she has made me feel, and tell her straight out that all of this physical contact makes me very uncomfortable. I would tell her it is me and...
by stella1976
Fri Nov 24, 2017 6:36 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

stella, you are allowed to set boundaries. and you dont have to be concerned with what others think of you. what others think of you is their own problem. you are allowed to stand up for yourself- it just takes some courage. if she gets offended by you protecting yourself,thats her problem. courage...
by stella1976
Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:31 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

stella, you are allowed to set boundaries. and you dont have to be concerned with what others think of you. what others think of you is their own problem. you are allowed to stand up for yourself- it just takes some courage. if she gets offended by you protecting yourself,thats her problem. courage...
by stella1976
Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:46 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

You can politely stretch your hands, there is no set rules that you have to hug. I don't hug. I lend my hand. I don't care what others think. Avaneesh has the best solution for you. As for me I do hug but not just anyone. If I am offered a hug a accept it if not I extend my hand and that is to both...
by stella1976
Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:24 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

We have to re-learn how to take care of ourselves in AA. Seriously. Tell her that you prefer a handshake. You can wait until after the hug, stick your hand out and TELL HER. Do this for your LIFE. If you do not, you will get a resentment against a woman who is probably a great person with a lot of ...
by stella1976
Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:45 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

My question is how is the best way I can let this woman know this, that its nothing personal, but I would prefer not to be hugged You can politely stretch your hands, there is no set rules that you have to hug. I don't hug. I lend my hand. I dont care what others think. You can take her out for cof...
by stella1976
Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:19 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I stop
Replies: 43
Views: 13778

Re: I need advice.I would hate for this to be the reason I s

Welcome to this forum. I have had to fend off guys; and if I need to be a little rude I am. And I stay away from them. Same tactics would work for a woman. In general, you should also attend some mixed gender meetings. The guys have some great information about sobriety which you won't get from wom...