Search found 425 matches

by tomsteve
Wed Jan 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Forum: Our Friends and Families
Topic: When is drinking a problem?
Replies: 11
Views: 99

Re: When is drinking a problem?

I'll have a look at al-anon. Thank you for the reference. I just don't know how to sit by and not do anything while waiting for his world to fall apart. And mine with it... You made something clear to me: that it really does not matter what I do. This is something I have no influence over. I am jus...
by tomsteve
Wed Jan 22, 2020 12:44 pm
Forum: The 12 Steps
Topic: Step 8
Replies: 5
Views: 79

Re: Step 8

welcome rhooligan. the title is in regards to step 8 but the question is in regards to step 9. step 8 is makin the list. step 9 is making the amends. no negative reactions here. quite the opposite. all were glad to hear me working on changing. however, i have heard some negative reactions. one thing...
by tomsteve
Tue Jan 21, 2020 1:06 pm
Forum: Our Friends and Families
Topic: When is drinking a problem?
Replies: 11
Views: 99

Re: When is drinking a problem?

my drinking wasnt a problem for me until i said it was a problem. others may have found my drinking to be a problem for them but that wasnt my problem.
by tomsteve
Sun Jan 19, 2020 2:31 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: New bad habits
Replies: 9
Views: 596

Re: New bad habits

I have been sober for almost a month now but now other bad habits are re emerging. I previously suffered for anorexia/bulimia and now that the drinking has stopped this has re emerged. I have also made several irresponsible expensive purchases. Has anyone else experienced re emerging bad habits fol...
by tomsteve
Fri Jan 17, 2020 9:57 am
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Questions heard at meetings.
Replies: 5
Views: 416

Re: Questions heard at meetings.

How do you use principles before personalities in the program?  With some personalities I keep a distance. good question! when askin,"in the program," i assume youre referring to the fellowship? if so, i also stay away from some personalities. i accept them but dont have to allow unacceptable perso...
by tomsteve
Wed Jan 15, 2020 1:05 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Fear
Replies: 13
Views: 503

Re: Fear

F.E.A.R=
F***
Everything
And
Run

or

Face
Everything
And
Recover


choices-you have em. hope ya choose the latter.
by tomsteve
Wed Jan 08, 2020 6:44 am
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Almost 2 weeks sober but craving wine
Replies: 8
Views: 338

Re: Almost 2 weeks sober but craving wine

Watching a movie and some characters were drinking wine and now I can't stop thinking about wine? Decided to write here to occupy my mind and wait for the cravings to pass. hope ya made it through. eran, in yer forst post ya mentioned youre not sure if youre an alcoholic. people that arent alcoholi...
by tomsteve
Thu Jan 02, 2020 2:43 pm
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Female sponsor?
Replies: 2
Views: 216

Re: Female sponsor?

abes wrote:
Wed Jan 01, 2020 3:56 pm


Can I do my fifth step and ninth step with a counselor?

do you owe amends to a counselor?
by tomsteve
Thu Jan 02, 2020 2:40 pm
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Wanting a new way of life
Replies: 13
Views: 458

Re: Wanting a new way of life

Spirit Flower, you are so right! I have always taken the easy way out. Get home from work feeling stressed about my day or something that happened or just overall life stresses. Going for the bottle was the fastest and easiest way to feel better. Then morning comes and the cycle starts all over. I ...
by tomsteve
Wed Jan 01, 2020 3:08 pm
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: Wanting a new way of life
Replies: 13
Views: 458

Re: Wanting a new way of life

Gardngal wrote:
Tue Dec 31, 2019 1:40 pm
I keep trying to figure out what keeps me drinking and I know stress plays a big role, I get stressed therefore I drink and all is better, but only short term.
i dont think stress plays a big roll. i think its the lack of knowing how to cope with/handle stress that does.
by tomsteve
Wed Jan 01, 2020 3:03 pm
Forum: For the Newcomer
Topic: 12 Steps
Replies: 14
Views: 849

Re: 12 Steps

im not religious either but its been workin for 14+ years for me.
if its religious, what religion is it?
you missed a few important words in step 3.
as we understood him.
by tomsteve
Mon Dec 30, 2019 4:47 am
Forum: Suggestions
Topic: AA Preamble
Replies: 5
Views: 644

Re: AA Preamble

too strict? overboard. AA is not allied with any organization. it isnt AAs members are not allied with any organizations. . wtf is wrong with saying its an aa meeting? lighten up. get some looser fitting britches. dont take yourself so dam seriously. i think theres a crapton of misunderstanding /ign...
by tomsteve
Fri Dec 27, 2019 3:05 pm
Forum: A.A. Birthdays!
Topic: 40 years
Replies: 9
Views: 4557

Re: 40 years

Db1105 wrote:
Fri Dec 27, 2019 10:44 am
up to 42 now. Thank you AA!
this is awesome to read. i hadnt even started drinkin when ya got sober!
by tomsteve
Fri Dec 27, 2019 3:02 pm
Forum: Discussions
Topic: Resentment towards myself
Replies: 18
Views: 861

Re: Resentment towards myself

Any suggestions anyone Thankyou start at step 1 with it. put pen to paper. get it out of your melon and right in front of you so you can see the exact problem. what does the BB say about resentments? It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. To t...
by tomsteve
Fri Dec 20, 2019 7:14 am
Forum: Sponsorship
Topic: Is my sponsor being inflexible?
Replies: 9
Views: 1266

Re: Is my sponsor being inflexible?

I dont like the 90/90 style of sponsoring. The sponsor ideally should help someone to reach a point where they can rely on the program rather than the meetings. That for an alcoholic is very important. The racing mind needs to be quietened otherwise, people who are gravely impacted cant wait for th...